Ahhh 2009

I spent a little time last night and this morning reading over the past year or so on my blog. It amazes me to see the difference a year makes. Going into 2009, I felt so many things that I'm struggling with as we head into 2010.

I think I spend a lot of time worrying what to write, for a blog, a status, etc... when I should just be writing. For me. If I never post it anywhere, I'll have it to look back on someday and hopefully think “Wow, you've come a long way since then... but what a ride huh?”

I don't want to do a wrap up of 2009. I have no intention of doing that. Talk about the year, the roads taken and not, sure. But there's no way to even begin to try and wrap up anything about the past year. How do you wrap up a year that seems to have wanted nothing more than to test every single thing in your life? Every move, every thought, every feeling. 2009 can bite it, ok? I'm not wrapping him up, I'm not delivering him anywhere with a shiny bow or a smile on my face.

I have never known, until now, just how much you tell yourself that you shouldn't think or feel a certain way. That you should always feel and think kindly, openly. Yeah, it would be amazing if it worked that way. But it doesn't. You may not want to feel something... guess what? You do anyway, regardless of what “should” or “shouldn't” thinks, and all you end up doing? Is feeling a hundred times worse for having an emotion in the first place. How could I think such a thing, feel this way... Because we're human beings, flawed and imperfect. Selfish and fearful. That doesn't make bad people- it makes people people.

I had thought I was done with these feelings, done with questioning, wondering... Is everything a test? EVERYTHING? When do I get a pass? When do the tests get easier, the answers come faster? Why is there always such struggle and hurt with these tests? Because you have to face the monsters in the closet someday. You have to learn who you really are, under all the walls and fears, the anger, the joy... who are you? Where is your strength? How far are you willing to go to find the way, find yourself? What will all of this crap teach you? What won't it teach you is the question.

I get that life isn't a destination, and that we are constantly learning and changing. We have to accept and move on, adapt and change with the rest of the world.. but we don't have to do it immediately, without protest, without wondering just what the point is.

The point is to find your balance. Yours. Not his, hers, anyone else's. Just yours. Find that, and the rest will seem a little easier. Just a little. At the end of the day, you have to make peace with yourself before you can with anyone else. And you have to accept that you aren't always going to be the person you want to be, with all the perfect responses that you “should” have. It just doesn't work that way. We don't work that way, and really? How boring would it be if we all had the same response to everything, the perfect answer to all of these questions, a 100% on every test? You wouldn't learn nearly as much... and you sure wouldn't have as much fun.

Do I always look at the woman in the mirror and find that contentment? Not by a long shot. But I think she's ok, most of the time. And I know her heart, those pieces she doesn't share with anyone but herself, and that I find peace with. Because only I know what's really in there, underneath all I say and do, all I show to the world. And that heart is a good one, albeit a cautious, sometimes cynical one. That heart has carried me through a lot of things, has broken a thousand times, and has loved beyond anything I ever imagined. That's an accomplishment.

I don't know what the next year will bring. I don't know what tomorrow will bring. I wish sometimes that I did. It would make life a lot easier. But, life isn't made to be easy, is it? Life is about risking and searching. Learning, falling, and getting up again, each scar a sign of something you have come through, something may have knocked the wind out of you, but in the end, you did get up. Maybe a little less confident, maybe a little more jaded- but you got up. Sometimes that alone is the lesson- that you can get up again. You can brush yourself off, pick up the pieces, and rearrange them to make something different. And who knows? That something different may turn out to be what was supposed to be, all along.

Uhhh.. What?

I turned thirty-one last Tuesday. I can't complain, I had a good b-day, and September has, so far, been a good month. The kids are flourishing in school, Miss T is enjoying being the sole attention getter during the day, and aside from the allergies that roll around every year, we're all in top form.

I can't complain, like I said. And yet... I'm sitting here, enjoying some (rare!!) quiet, and trying to prepare myself for the coming weeks. I think it's going to be interesting, these changes and emotions, and as soon as I'm wrapping my head around them, around this situation, there is always something else to wrap my head around. Such is life, right? But sometimes, I don't want to have something to wrap my head around, something to think about, anything to wonder about other than what I'm making for dinner, if the kids are having a good day, and whether that load of laundry will pick today to fold itself. I don't want to be the worrier, the analyzer, the one always planning eight steps ahead for whatever may or may not happen on any given day. I HATE that about myself, you know?

And there's a part of me that isn't that person. A part of me that doesn't have those worries, that rolls with it, laughs it off and enjoys the day. I like that part, I miss it when I can't find it. And I haven't lost it, misplaced it or had it hidden away as I think it has been in the past. I just had to be the grown up, and that pushed some of the easiness aside. Aaaand, I'm analyzing again. But, I doubt that's soemthing I can ever stop- my mind has a mind of its own, LOL, and it likes to work. And work, and work... you get the idea.

Life has been good, though. It really, really has. Am I worried that will change? Sure. Absolutely. I keep telling myself there's nothing I can't handle, and then I realize what that really says. I keep reminding myself things happen for a reason, and then I ask myself what the hell could it be??? I tell myself there are lessons, and tests, and think oh holy shit, am I going to pass? Fail? And how will I know which is which?? Loaded questions, all. And they have been for awhile- again, that's nothing new. But, it sure feels it all of a sudden.

Like I said- life has been good. I can't complain. Everyone is healthy, we have all been happy, and making plans for holidays, from layways to food and festivities. We've been doing more than surviving.. we have all been thriving. Together.

But today? Today I'm sitting here staring into space, thinking a million lost thoughts..... and oh my God, I want to scream...

A Note...

I wanted to say hello to my new readers. **waves** If you're trying to post a comment, all comments are moderated/approved before posting. That stops the spambots and internet trolls from junking up bloggers' pages, and keeps things nice and happy for us and our readers.

My email is on the right over there, as well as everywhere else I may be, so get ahold of me if you choose. Have a good one... and be sure to stop in again. I sense a new "Quotes" post on the way!

Ya Know it's Monday...

Happy Mommy's Day to all the super moms out there. a little late (as usual) but I was with my family all weekend doing a whole lotta nothing and enjoying every minute. LOL I hope all of you were pampered and spoiled this weekend, lavished with homemade cards and stories that you will keep forever, and didn't have to lift (barely) a finger!

I have to tell you, I am so excited by one of my gifts this year- I finally got the stand mixer I've been drooling over for awhile now. I've had hand mixers, and a wooden spoon, but now that I'm baking and cooking so much more, trying new recipes, making my own as I go, this will make life sooo much simpler! And who doesn't want simpler, really? I think I'd marry the thing if I could- all twelve speeds of it. Wait.. that sounded... eh. Well. Moving on....

The mixer came with a recipe disk. This is where it gets more exciting. For me. It's filled with easy cakes, cookies, frostings, etc... and everything but the frosting starts with a cake mix. There's a how to, there are photos, and you can make your own recipe book, add your recipes, pics, etc. I'm in heaven over here with it all. And I now know how to make bunny cakes, cat cakes and sandcastle cakes. Seriously, diagrams are a must- I'm craft-impaired. I may end up with a deformed rabbit cake, but I'm planning on trying, because stuff like that is so fun to do with the kids. And then you can blame them if it looks funny... LOL!

I'm going to start taking more pictures as I do cook, and posting more- it's a promise. I'm committing to more posting, more pics and more recipes. Except my lasagna- never will I share that, it's my secret weapon. It goes up there with the rest of my arsenal, and is off limits. Everything else is up for grabs. Be forewarned, though- I'm not a gourmet chef. I'm not going to make a rack of lamb here, guys. But I can give you easy, inexpensive and very picky family friendly. And when I say picky, I'm not exaggerating- my kids are PICKY. Alyssa won't even eat pizza or peanut butter. I can't make things without sneaking things in, and I've learned that spices and seasoning are my best friends.

So, that's all. I'm rolling some ideas around in my head, and we may be looking at a more domestic not so domestic. But, I'm going to be doing it with the music blaring and a glass of wine in hand, probably with a sink full of dishes and kids running wild. So.. not too much is changing. ;)

Stay tuned... the party is just starting!

Google of the Day

I'm going to start posting some of the quirkier ways people find my blog. I've done this a couple times before (heh heh) and some of this is pretty funny!

Today's top google search? "did Joe McIntyre invent sloppy joes?" I don't believe he did, but I suppose that could be debated. **snicker**

Top search/visit of the weekend? JP, Mass. Period.

Some Random Ish

We survived Thanksgiving! Seriously. this is the first year in I don't even know how long that no one has been sick. Everyone ate, enjoyed and looked decidedly full and content afterward. Other than the cats milling around and being a huge pain in my ass, it was a pretty good day. The kids were all pleasant, there was a minimum of the usual fighting and "Mom, he/she did THIS" (which is usually said in either a whine or a high pitched shriek that could possibly shatter your glassware and all your nerves at one time). I think it's the Christmas is coming vibe that's humming around here that has everyone in a relatively calm state. Unless it's the Prozac I keep slipping into the cocoa? Huh. Could be that, too I guess... Either way.

Today is the big decoration, tree decorating day at Casa Diva. The Christmas tunes will be blaring (yes, yes, including my favorite Christmas album of all time, Merry Merry Christmas, by... you guessed it, NKOTB), there will be enough marshmallows and cocoa to give everyone a suitable chocolate buzz, and all will (hopefully) be peaceful and fun. If not, there's always more Prozac, yes?

I'm excited because this will be Taylor's first major Christmas season. Last year, she was too little to notice, let alone enjoy, the holidays. This year, I think it will fascinate her. the lights, the sparkly tinsel, the tree with all the shiny ornaments she will be itching to get her greedy little hands on.... and then will come the baking. She will definitely enjoy all the yummy goodness of the food side of it too. Because I'm a baking, making fool. I bake cookies, I make candy, I have cakes, pies, cupcakes, brownies... it goes on and on. and every year, I try to add something new. Th e list keeps growing, but we all enjoy it.

What I want to do this year is make pizzelles. I need a pizzelle iron, which I probably will have to get online, but I remember these from all the my earlier Christmases, and I've finally started missing them. My mom made them for quite a few years at Christmas, and it's never been something I really thought about, till now. Pizzelles will be something unique to our family, I think, and something not everyone makes... at least, in this neck of the woods. I think they'd be a fun addition. That and they really are simple to make, almost like waffles. They take next to no time at all, and they're not only yummy, they are so prertty! They have the cutest designs on pizzelle irons, and the finished cookies, sprinkled with powdered sugar? Look like snowflakes. Gorgeous.

I hope you guys all had a great day yesterday, and enjoyed your traditions, be they new, old, or slightly adjusted. And to any of you out on Black Friday shopping? I tip my coffee cup at you- you got way bigger cajones than me, my friend! I have absolutely no patience shopping on regular days- shopping today would probably be dangerous for the person who would either

1. block the aisle by having an hour long chat with their Great Aunt Bertha.

2. Ram into me with their cart, because they don't watch where the hell they're going.

Or 3. Cut in front of me to either grab something off the shelf, or get ahead of me at the check out.

Seriously. Ask J. He hates shopping with me, because I'm so not polite. I am at first, but if i say excuse me more than once? Screw you, buddy, I'm moving you or moving myself around your inconsiderate ass. So me on Black Friday? Tucked safely at home with cocoa and Christmas music. Think of it as my contribution to public safety. Cause I'm generous that way...

Dear Internet

I am not dead. I've skipped a couple days here and there in my NaBloPoMo. It isn't you, Internet, it's me. It's a zany little thing called life and its love of throwing curve balls at my congested head. It's sleep deprivation due to sick child. It's never ending piles of laundry and dishes. It's opening Word and tentatively tapping a few sentences, then a paragraph, then another... and feeling a little of that old friend, Creativity, finding his way back home. It's a number of things, Internet... but it's not you. :)

That said- there's a lot I could write about lately that I just haven't found time, or words, for. Not a lot surprises me these days, but sometimes I guess I surprise myself- in good ways. Sometimes there are things that seem so hard, like they are impossible to get over- like a mountain of emotion, I guess. and then suddenly, when you aren't paying attention, you realize- you've made it. Quietly, unnoticed, you've found the other side. And I'll tell you what- that feels pretty damn good. Bring it on Life- I've done what I thought impossible. I've conquered something huge. What's next?

Oh The Weather Outside is Frightful...

We've started snowy season here in Small Town Ohio. There was a little white on the ground yesterday morning, but it melted by afternoon. Last night, it snowed off and on throughout the evening-night, and man did it look impressive at times. Wind whipping, flakes flying. This morning it's icy and snowy... and the kids have school. On time, no delays. That's weird, because usually, they get the two hour delay deal with less weather issue than this. J drives them, and he saw an accident on the way to drop Jake, and saw someone almost spin out on the way back. Beautiful weather.

I was talking to my friend last night about how funny it is, the way your feelings for things change as you get older. when we were kids, we were all about the snow day. No school, playing outside until we were half frozen, coming in to hot chocolate or hot tea. Sometimes, it was apple cider with a cinnamon stick. We lived for those days- what was better than a free day to run wild or hang out with your friends all day long? And if those snow days happened on a Monday or Friday- a long weekend? Sweet!

Now that we're the adults, it's a little different. How bad will it get? Do we have everything we need in case it does get bad? Flashlights, batteries, etc., in case the power goes... and oh my God how long will they be out of school? LOL And those are valid concerns considering the last few winters I've wondered when Ohio became New England. 2 years ago (I think it was 2) they were out of school for around three weeks. Yeah. and the snow we've had hasn't even been the fun kind- it's so cold that it ends up crunchy and liable to cut your damn hands off. Snowballs? Sure, if you want to give someone a concussion. (Hmm... )

I'm not ready for the snow just yet. It seems like fall went too fast- we had a pretty mild summer, and then fall stopped in for a minute, if that. It was pretty warm up until the beginning of this month- a few cool/cold days scattered in, but winter has appeared with a bang now. Yippee. Do you feel my joy? LOL

So there is a nice fluff post about the weather. As usual (does it ever end??) there's a lot going on in my head, but nothing I seem able to put into (the right) words for a post, or even a conversation right now. So, it's weather. For the moment. Like everything else, it seems. For the moment.

Another One Bites the Dust....

What IS it about me that makes appliances say "screw this shit"? Now, we have to get a new oven. Which, I admit, is bittersweet. Yeah, it sucks because of the money that will be spent. Especially considering holidays and birthdays (Taylor, thanksgiving J, Christmas, New Years then Jake, all in a row). But- this oven was here when I moved into this house. I have always hated it- it's older than God, has never been taken care of (I had to use a chisel and scraper to clean it before using it, ok?) and it has finally taken its leave.

I have never had a new oven. The prospect excites me. This one was gas rather than electric, and I did like it. It proved somewhat easier on cooking in some ways, and I'll have to get another one- I'm too paranoid about the gas lines, carbon monoxide, etc., to trust anyone to fix that properly for me. Plus, when we have power outages, I can still cook- that's come in handy a few times here during storms. Especially winter storms.

But a new, white, shiny oven? Without years of buildup that never fully came clean? Hehehehehehehee. I know, I know- it's an appliance. I should be this excited over jewelry or some such extravagance. But, let's look at my recent birthday-holiday requests: crock Pot, cookware, etc. That's what gets my juices flowing. right now, I'm salivating over a pizzelle maker. I told you I was weird....

I do hope, however, that this is the last major appliance we need to replace for a LONG time. In the past few years, it's been a new washer. Then a new toilet, sink and bathtub. THEN a new dryer. New fridge... you see where this is going. It's insane. Just two weeks ago, we had to get a new microwave (which I adore beyond reason). We need a break on the appliance area, right?

Now, I'm off to ponder whether I want a white oven (to match the fridge) or a stainless steel and black model (to match my new love, the microwave)..... What would YOU do? LOL

When Good Electronics Go Bad.....

I had this title prepared when I signed in this morning, since lately, I'm having brain malfunction every time I try to think of one. Then I signed in, checked some things, and had a brain malfunction again. But, despite badly wanting to use another title, I went with this one. Because although I'm not big on coincidence, I'm also not big on over thinking something that probably really is a coincidence. A repeated, location specific coincidence. **cough**

I have a lot to say today (surprise, surprise) and I'm probably going to be all over the board with it (again, surprise...) but I feel good this morning, and I'm going with that. Today is starting out with hope, something that I've not felt, completely, for a while now. Because of all that's been happening, everything's had that smudge on it, if that makes sense to you guys. Even the most enjoyable moments, and there have been more than a few, didn't completely take away my anxiety. This morning, I feel good. So, bear with me as I bounce around.

The electronics here at Casa Diva seem disgruntled. Maybe they feel over worked and underpaid, I dunno... but first, J's beloved 360 decided to keel over, complete with the Red Ring of Death. And oh my God- the drama of that was insane. Boys and toys, like boys and sports, are interesting to watch. Especially when said toy takes its leave. I thought I was the creative one when it came to cussing. Apparently, I was wrong....

Then, the microwave kicked it. Like, surged, attempted to set on fire, then just... stopped. I regained my title with that whole creative thing.. although nothing could top when the ATM was being serviced at the bank on the 3rd. THAT was definite creativity- and apparently, also very amusing. I put things together I'd never even SAID... and then had to threaten my children not to ever, ever repeat any of those words, together or apart....

I digress (again). First, 360. Next, microwave. In the midst of those, both sets of headphones lost the soft thingy around the ears... on the left side. Both sets, on the left side. And the speakers on the comp are dying.. the music stuff I get. That IS over worked, especially lately. I've never been easy on anything that plays music- I've gone through more cassette players, CD players, speakers, Walkman, etc.... I play frequently, I play loud. They need to keep up with me. :)

This morning, the hair dryer surged at me. I shit you not. I couldn't make this stuff up, people. I mean, obviously I COULD, but what would be the point? I am keeping my fingers crossed at this point that the electronics decide not to continue on their suicide missions. Because now we need a damn microwave, and J will be panting for a 360. Me, I want a Wii, but that's beside the point...

Something else I was thinking about (yes, I DO think about too much at one time, thanks for noticing) is how different all the blogs I frequent really are. From mine, from one another. I mean, everyone I read is diverse, everyone has something unique to offer. That's why there are so many people reading so many blogs, I think- people are so open when they write, you really do get a glimpse into who they are. And that can be pretty awesome. I haven't read anyone, yet, who censors themselves, or worries (too much) about who will read them, or what they'll think if they do. I'm working on that, LOL.

I know that for me, like a lot of people, this is sort of an escape. I always deal better with things when I can write them down. It gives me a different way to process things, see things, etc., and I usually feel better once I've got something on paper (or PC) and I can go back and look at it. Blogging does all that and then also offers the support of others, the opinions... it's nice to get the feedback, and see someone else that's either been there, or cares that you ARE there. That means a lot, and has carried me through a lot of the last few weeks. This is THE place where i can say exactly what I want, and no one's going to look shocked, or tell me to calm down, don't say-do that, feel that way, etc... And even if they think it, I don't know they are. :)

So, thanks, for anyone who reads, even if you never comment. Double thanks to those who do both. It's weird to me that ANYONE wants to see what I have to say about anything. even weirder that a lot of you keep coming back. Because I'm never one just one track, and I'm more than likely going to be completely random, and cover a myriad of things happening.

What I'm saying is I appreciate you. All of you. Sometimes, you get me through my day (some of you in more ways than one- odd shit, that). Sometimes, you get me through a few days, a week. So, thanks. For reading, for coming back to read again, for commenting... You never know what's going to make someone's day. Now ya do. :)

Vinegar and Honey

Cold season has officially started around here. J started it (shocker, LOL), and got rid of it almost as soon as he caught it. the kids are in various stages of sniffling and coughing, and I simply can't breathe. I hate head colds- the full, foggy feeling can knock me down faster than the flu. It was a night for vapor baths and vapo rub- that makes me super popular with the kids, you know. they see it and run screaming in the other direction. They absolutely hate the smell of it, and I can't really blame them I guess. Simple tricks, though- one is to rub it on their feet and put thick socks over it. Seriously, it works. the other? Wait till they're asleep and coat their necks. I'm sneaky like that... but seriously? You'd think I was the most horrible person on the planet for wanting to restore their ability to breathe. Shame on me, right?

I don't really know what to say about everything else. I'm a little uncomfortable mentioning it here right now (thanks Feedjit). When someone finds me here by searching the Net for me by name, it makes me a little wary of just who is reading. So.. nothing new to mention here. Especially considering I don't have a sense of who's actually wearing the white hat anymore. It's all about the tone of voice. And that's all I'm saying.

Besides, it's time to stop beating a dead horse around here. Ther are a lot of positives in the midst of all the negatives, and it's way past time to get back to some of that stuff. It's been way too serious lately, and it's been constant thinking, re thinking, worrying and basically utter chaos. Emotionally, I'm drained. Physically, I'm drained. I'm tired of being tired, and tired of feeling like I need to do just one more thing before I can relax. Being this tense is not good for anyone. I need to step back for a second and realize I'm doing what I can, and that's all that I CAN do. It's all anyone can do, really- make an effort. A real one?

So, back to the normal stuff- more pics, kids, pets, quotes, movies, TV, and all that junk starting tomorrow. Enough of the dark and brooding... and enough of TMI for those who don't need it.

Like I said- it's all in the tone. And that honey-vinegar thing? So, so true.

An American Girl

Quick update on the last post- things are still not worked out to my satisfaction, and I'm still working on getting there. Another meeting in the morning, possibly one next week. Any idea how much dealing with this shit long term, especially next week, pisses me off? Yeah. Should have been taken care of by now. I have no patience for things, especially things involving my family. I want it taken care of, handled in the proper way, and finished. Next week was supposed to be Fun Week here, and I'm going to do my damndest to make sure it stays that way. Of course, next week could also be Mommy Why Are You Acting Like a Maniac Week, ya never know.

I'm losing sleep, thanks to the situation, Taylor cutting teeth (top two are finally in, joining the bottom two, she is now cutting side teeth. saying she is cranky is a major understatement. Major.), and this countdown thing I got going on, sleep is now a long lost friend that I pray to eventually meet up with again. When the children are grown, perhaps. LOL

I'm not packed yet. I do have my shirts lined up, need to buy a new pair of jeans, take my favorite worn in, slightly ripped pair for comfort, and grab a few other essentials for my overnight bag. I can't even really think about it without getting butterflies, which at least gets my mind of the school mess for a minute. I've been watching some clips on youtube (but I'm not pausing them.. **cough**) even though I shouldn't, and I've come to realize that all this money? Is being paid for one song, really. LOL I'm not telling which one. But that's what it seems to come down to; I'm excited for the whole thing, beyond belief. But this one song sends me over the moon and back again. I'll just say I've waited 20 years to see this live, and it seems I'm finally gonna get the chance. Humor me, people. I'm crazed with all of this, I recognize it, and embrace it. LOL

I just wish things could be less complicated. I'm not a drama queen. i want to chill out with my family and my friends, you know? i want to cook and write, get ready for the holidays (huge holiday person, I bake non stop from October to February!), and just be. I don't like all the baggage, all the excess bullshit. But I'll walk head on into it if i have to, so it gets dealt with, and out of my way. All I want in terms of excitement? A cup of cappucino, a bubble bath and a good book I can curl up on the couch with and get lost in. Is that really too much to ask??? I really am just a simple girl at heart. Boring, though? Never. ;)

I'll keep you updated on the happenings around here. Tomorrow -Monday will be about school dealings. Unless i need to really vent, the updates there will be brief. I'm too wound about that as it is, and need to refocus.

The next week will probably be all about Cleveland, so read at your own risk! And on the day of, I'll be twittering up till show time. And again after, if I'm able to make sense. I'm headed for The Block and I'm taking you with me. ;)

Riddle Me This...... The Answer

A couple of weeks ago, I posted a riddle here. There were only three answers, and all were the same one. "Breathe." (Congrats to Dad for answering first, via email, and to the gals who answered here.) I am giving you breathe, because it's definitely a correct answer. the one given however, as the "right" answer, was "age."

Random Stuff About Me- 2

It's that time again, folks. time to get to know your friendly crazy lady just a little more. So here goes:


1. I don't pay attention (usually) to all the celebrity gossip. I don't give a shit who shaves their head, acts a fool or needs rehab in the worst way. Everyone has issues- us everyday folk just don't have a zillion people watching us, hoping to capture us losing our cool, our lunches or our minds. I do, however, think it's a little insane how people act when they KNOW a camera is on them. Keep your Crazy to yourself and we wouldn't read about it.

2. I wear a bra for moral support, only. **sigh**

3. I have an irrational hatred of clowns. Yes, it's because of It. Yes, I realize that wasn't real. Still won't catch me near a clown, or a sewer drain any time in the near future.

4. I love horror movies with a passion, but am terrified of the "reality" paranormal things. I'd never be investigating anything like that. Ever. I'll watch it from the safety of my couch as I hope there's no one I can't see, watching with me.

5. I am on a constant quest for "what I want." The outcome is always the same, in my mind. The way there changes, a lot. Thank you impatience and determination- you make a lovely contradicting combo for me.

6. My favorite part of my morning is waking up to my baby- she usually gets up in a great mood and my first moments of the day are spent cuddling a smiling, lovey, giggly little girl. That makes my whole morning.

7.I hate talking on the phone. HATE it. I love email and text messaging. Those can be done anytime, usually anywhere, without messing with the routine of the day, or the zone I'm in. Phone? The mere ringing of it shifts my focus. Yes, I am easily distractable.

8. I have a weird thing about laundry. I am ALWAYS doing laundry, even tiny loads. I feel more accomplished at the end of the day if there's been a load or more of laundry taken care of. I am OCD about it building up, and taking over my floors. And with five of us? It can take over pretty fast!

9. I am also crazy for good smells. I surround us all with scent. I'm a febreze junkie, a candle crazy and a potpourri oil queen. I can't stand stale air, especially in winter. Cooking and baking smells are my favorites.

I think that's more than enough for now. If the first set didn't deem me crazy to you all, this second set will have you calling for the butterfly nets, I'm sure! :)

Weird and Random Things (Not About Me) You Just Had To Know About

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee (Hardly seems worth it.) If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!) The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!) A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.) A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig.) Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour (Don't try this at home, maybe at work) The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (Honey, I'm home. What the...?!) The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?) The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?) Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity) Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.) The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm......) Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people. (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?) Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (Okay, so that would be a good thing) A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?) An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that) Starfish have no brains (I know some people like that too.) Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer) Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig??) Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread these crazy facts and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to, maybe even a chuckle. In other words, send it to everyone ! (and God love that pig!)

Random Stuff About Me- 1

I've seen this done on a lot of blogs, so I thought I'd give it a shot. I'll jot down some stuff about me just so you guys can get to know me a little better. Feel free to comment, not comment, whatever you choose. :)

1. I can be completely random. A lot. Things just pop into my head and I want to share them, before I forget. This tends to annoy some people.

2. I seem to have a low inside yet high outside, for all to see, tolerance for morons, bullshit, idiocy, etc... I see people doing dumb shit every day, and rarely point it out. In my head, I am probably cussing you like a trucker. Believe that.

3. I will only eat boxed macaroni and cheese- the kind with the powder. I'm picky about weird stuff like that. I don't like a lot of cheeses, but I like the powder cheese. Odd yes? I am the same with cheeseburgers- unless it has provolone or mozzarella, I will only eat cheeseburgers from McDonald's.

4. I am super sensitive, even when it doesn't show. Things stick with me and hurt me pretty easily. I may appear not to care, or to bounce back, but I'm thinking about it anyway. And yes, I'm the chick who cries at some holiday commercials.

5. I'm addicted to coffee. hot, cold, latte, regular... just gimme a cup of joe already. Or six.

6. I could be a hermit a lot of the times. I like people, but on my terms. Odd, selfish, but true. I like to be alone when i want, and will ignore you if you don't get the hint. I don't get a lot of personal space or time, so when I have it, piss off. Sorry.

7. I am the least organized person you could EVER meet. I lose things all the time. I want a clean house, an organized life.... and get too frustrated, too easily.

8. I would pay you to take Barney and the Teletubbies out back and beat the ever living hell out of them. Extra, if i could watch.

9. I would move mountains for the people I love... until you screw with me. Then i will still love you, but the mountains won't be moved by me.

10. I love cooking, baking and preparing for holidays. It makes me feel warmer and gooier than anything else. My dream is a large house filled with family and friends for the holidays.

11. I rarely wear makeup. On occasion I'll haphazardly paint my face, but usually what you see is what you get, imperfections and all.


That's it for the first round. Keep checkin back- or ask me a question!

Riddle Me This......

A riddle for you. answer in the comments, and I will post the winner. (All comments are approved first, so no one will see your answers.) Winner is the first person to answer correctly.

the riddle is this: What do all people do at the same time, but at a different pace?

Think about it.......

Quotes To Live (and Laugh) By- Part 2

Something New!

I'm going to be doing something a little different, along with the regular blog thing. I love quotes- funny ones, inspirational ones... anything that gives you a laugh, or gives you pause. So, I thought I'd gather some of my favorites and start posting them, a little at a time. Maybe one post a day, maybe more- but it's something to look out for. And don't hesitate to use them, send me some or whatever you want.

It's a brand new day. A new me is coming out- I'm done with being the girl I "should" be, the one who has to strive to be liked, appreciated, or accepted. From now on? I',m me- like it or leave it! So stay tuned for the new me... and the new posts!

And The Laughter will Live On

Comedian George Carlin dies at 71

This was a sad thing to see first thing when I checked my email this morning. I'm one of those people who loves to watch, read or listen to anyone who pushes buttons. I would say George Carlin did so, but with an intelligence that wasn't easily ignored. He was outrageous, raunchy and funny as hell. I'm sure he had many haters, but I think that makes a good statement about you. If you have haters for being a button pusher, you're saying something that people don't want to hear- or saying something a lot of people are listening to, and that worries the ones who want everything to fall under a certain way of speaking, thinking and being. He was different, and sometimes that's what the world needs- a different idea, a different voice. He was one, in my opinion.

I may not show it a lot in my writing (yet), but I am all for diversity in thought, music, comedy... I watch Carlos Mencia, I listen to Eminem. I do not believe these things make people violent, or lead them to do violent things. I don't believe in censorship, in banning books, music or television. I believe in freedom of speech and thought 100% and applaud those with the balls to stand up and say "purple" when everyone else says "black" or "white".

Whatever your opinion may be on certain comedians, performers, writers, etc... you can learn a lesson from all of them. stand up, be yourself, in every way. speak up and out, be heard. And revel in the haters, if you have them- it means you've rattled the cage.