Waiting for It?

No essays or writing experiments this time- sorry. It's all me this time, folks, since attempting to go about my business and live my life is just.. never.. good enough. So, by popular demand, I'd say the bitch is back. Miss me?

I'm tired of explaining myself. Explaining, finding justification for, life. It is what it is, and that's honestly the best way to describe anyone's life. I'm tired of worrying what repercussions will come from making memories and sharing them with my friends and family- because there is one, every time. I'm tired of taking shit and keeping my mouth shut- whatever life is, it isn't a game. Mine isn't anyway, and my kids' lives aren't either. I'm tired of it being ok for everyone else in the free world to do and say whatever they want- to stick their nose in, stir the pot or nudge someone else to... and there isn't supposed to be anything coming from it? Especially when keeping my mouth shut and being uninvolved with dramatics is apparently not good enough, because then it has to increase, or change course. But, if I really think about it, I don't have to say a lot. I really don't- it isn't as if I'm fighting the tide. No one is blind... or at least, not anymore. The last couple of months have opened a lot of eyes, and not from being angered or stressed, or having something to prove... you see a lot when you pay attention.

Now it's time to deal with this idiot school, again. Because of drama, because of stress, because of things I've sat back and been quiet about, things I've attempted to let “run their course”- well, it has run its' course. The fact that I'm having to go rounds again with the same people who were so bound and determined to isolate my kid last year... I'm done with this. No one isolates or upsets my kids. You aren't messing with their minds, their emotions, their balance. It just isn't happening- not while I'm steering the ship. And you can call me a bitch, you can think what you want to- it really doesn't matter. Yep, I'm horrendous. We are just awful! We're so horrible that our kids are well mannered, well liked and praised everywhere they go. Our two older kids are on the honor roll and mostly enjoy school. They are friendly, personable and the only issues we have ever had stem from our son's behaviors and patterns due to his autism. My oldest daughter is a teacher's helper, and has never been even reprimanded in school- when it comes time for conferences, I get a note, every time, stating she is doing so well I don't need to come in. They have friends, they have family who love and appreciate them. Our toddler is bright, engaging and right on schedule. She's friendly, outgoing, and thinks that everyone is her friend- because everyone she is surrounded with, in her daily life, is a friend to her. They get in trouble and lose their privileges like any other kid.. they're kids, after all. They fight and cry, yell, scream, run their mouths and there are days when I can't wait for bedtime. We have the typical issues- cleaning up after themselves, no it doesn't matter how many times he/she looked at you, you can't punch him/her. It's typical. Life in this house is messy, loud, chaotic and at times insane. Hell, I'm messy,loud, chaotic and at times insane- I'm a mother. It's part of our job to be all those things- if we didn't learn to bend, as well as learn as we go, we'd mess it up even more than we're bound to already. We make mistakes with them, and we learn from it. But the important part is we teach them- we give them the cushion they need to know that when they fall, however they fall, their mother is standing right there with them. I won't always agree with them, but I will support them. To do any less... what's the point of having a child if that, too, is conditional?

You know how I spend my day? In between apparently pissing people off and being so awful I mean? Tell me if it sounds familiar to any of you. My day never really “begins” because, as a parent, your days never really “end.” Putting them to bed doesn't mean it's over- there are bathroom trips, drinks, nightmares, upset stomachs.. you name it, it happens. Usually in the middle of the night. I think it's possible only after midnight for a child to actually get hit with a bug- they feel fine all day, go to bed and then WHAM! So you sleep with one ear open, always. And, as someone who “doesn't work”, I sure do sit around on my ass a lot- in between doing the laundry, getting snacks and meals, cleaning up after animals and a two year old all day, then three kids and the same animals at night. It's housework, homework, wrangling them for showers, backpacks, finding toys, dirty socks... I am the chef, the waitress, the maid. I'm the doctor, the surgeon for injured toys as well as children. I'm the judge, the defense attorney, prosecution and jury at the same time. I'm the referee, the counsel, the conscience. I'm their audience, the co-star, the dress up buddy. Back up dancer, bubble blower, boo boo kisser. I'm the entire staff here, because of the hours he keeps. I have so much extra time on my hands, obviously. My day “ends” before eleven PM and I consider it a good day. And that's the norm- that's not meetings and issues, emails, phone calls, family, friends. I'm the plan maker, activities coordinator, bag packer, diaper changer, potty trainer. I am their Mother. I do my job. How I do it is obviously working- my kids are a perfect example of doing something right. And if they defend themselves against someone and that's an issue- they are a lot like their parents. They don't go out of their way to start anything- but they sure can finish it can't they?

I'm tired of it. I'm tired of being questioned, challenged, f'd with. And here it is, in plain English, black and white- I don't give a damn what the issue is, what he said, she said, so and so thinks, wants and feels. You don't live in this house, you don't pay these bills. You don't raise these kids, or share in this marriage, or this life in that way. Back off. Schools, people, phone calls, letters, drama, bullshit. It's not happening- I'm not putting them through any more shit, any more games. I have a kind heart, not a gullible one. There's a difference. And I'm done. I'm tired of getting slapped every time that other cheek is turned. Some things are changing, and some are staying exactly as they are. That's the beginning and end of it. All I'm trying to do is live my life with my family, with happiness and joy and memories they deserve- I suggest everyone else do the same..

Proving My Point

Dear Principal of Elementary School My Son Currently Attends,

Thank you so much for taking the time this morning to prove me right about you, your school, and the horrible situation my child has endured since he stepped foot into your building. He has been assaulted by another student, falsely accused of sexual behavior when it was actually another child (who, by the way, got punched in the junk by my kid twice because he didn't like the other kid feeling him up... never did do anything about that, huh?) , verbally, emotionally and physically abused by a teacher (the same one who refused to send home forms regarding his medical records and lunch choice- my kid almost didn't get to eat) who is the ONLY person in the entire history of Jake's school career (including the aides in her room all day, every day) who has ever seen or heard things "sexual" or "inappropriate" from my child.

Yesterday, I spoke to Jake's caseworker, who observed him in his new classes at your school. She got glowing reviews about his academic performance (he's doing 2nd grade math), and glowing reports about his behavior. He is a "typical kindergartner" when it comes to behavior, and these same teacher expressed confusion over the "behaviors" he was supposedly exhibiting in another class. Things they were looking for? Have never materialized. He is bright, he is a joy, he is a wonderful child. His IEP is not being followed, but requests have been made, by his aide, on his behalf for the therapy he is not recieving... even though you claim you follow IEPS to the letter. Of course you do, since it's the law, and you are such an honest individual.

I appreciate you taking the time to corner J this morning when he dropped Jake off at school. To tell him of Jake's behavior issues. since he stuck his tongue out someone yesterday. To offer to call the teacher you wouldn't give a name) to your office to tell "her side of the story". I also appreciate your feeling that he isn't getting his needs met in his current class setting, and needs to be moved back to his original classroom. You know, since the whole shaking, jerking thing never happened. Same for the screaming in his face. So he can go back... fantastic plan! Obviously nothing happened, since it had to be set up to make that teacher turn and go in an opposite direction if she and Jake were in the same location, because of his obvious fear and worry. Same for keeping her away from the bus at the end of the day....obviously he's a liar, because he was suddenly afraid to go to the bus. Same for the vomiting, wetting his pants and his bed, the crying and rages, and the sudden on set of panic attacks. It's quite obvious that nothing negative happened while in this bitch.. er, teacher's... care.

I also appreciate you telling J how manipulative Jake is, how much trouble he has with his work, how he doesn't want to do it (he works very well with small breaks to recharge, he's at his level and above academically, and he loves to do classwork according to his teachers???). I think it's wonderful for you to take the time to first state he needs to be in special education full time, because of his issues.. and then when corrected and told of the conversation with his caseworker, state that he needs to be in regular kindergarten, without an aide.... in a different school. The school we've wanted to move him to since the first week of school... remember, when you were so concerned about his tooth being busted that you never looked into it?

It went over very well when you brought up the "unfortunate" mistaken identity incident and attempted to apologize for it. After calling my child a liar and a manipulator. I wonder how it felt when J told you that there was absolutely no circumstance when Jake would be anywhere near (insert abusive shrew of teacher's name here) again. Non negotiable. Apparently, it went well enough that you suggested he move schools.

So, I wanted to thank you for taking the time to prove everything I have stated since working with you and your school. You are untrustworthy, you are an ass covering liar who does not have anyone's best interest at heart but making yourself look good. You never have cared about my child's education or his physical, emotional, or academic well being while in your building. Your motives were crystal clear this morning- he either goes back to the classroom where he was frightened and not progressing, or he leaves your building.

I believe this states without a doubt that you want him to fail- have set him up to fail. It must chap your ass that this has been avoided at every turn- because I won't allow it to happen. Let's move him, then.. we all want that. Even Jake, who has begged not to have to come back to your school. Daily.

We will have our IEP meeting. I will make very specific notes to be added. He WILL move schools. And then, we will never have to deal with one another again, in a school setting (insert evil smile)

I know I am repeating myself, but I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your actions this morning. It proves so much to me, as well as his advocates. Especially since I warned them that setting up an IEP, or going to observe him would cause him problems. every time, something negative has happened. And what did you do? Reacted as I knew you would- thank you for being so consistent!!

I hope you are happy with the way you have treated each of these incidents, and can justify them to others, as well as yourself. You'll have to forgive me if as I leave your building with my son for the last time, I stick out my tongue.

After all, the kid must get his issues from someone, right?

Back To Reality

I hate Mondays. Not saying anything that you've never heard before, I'm sure. But this Monday especially? Was slam back into reality. I feel that we are preparing for the biggest hurdle yet (and we've had our share of biggies, believe me), and I hate that this is happening. I hate that Jake is going through this, that he has to keep going through this.

We go later in the week so he can be formally interviewed, with recordings, because the report I filed has been accepted and is being investigated. If he were to return to school, this teacher is not allowed to be with him unsupervised at any time. He is not returning- there's been too much damage done now, and he is too afraid. A caseworker from CS came to the house today, to talk with him, and he was too scared to share anything with her. Because his teacher would hurt him. His words. I got him to talk about it again with me, before she came, to ease him into talking freely about it. When he realized he would have to talk about it with someone else, he panicked. He was crying, running, trying to hide. He didn't want to tell, because (insert name here) will be bad to him, she's bad to him. He was in full melt down mode for almost half an hour.

I am heartsick. This could explain his anxiety of late, the whining and crying that he couldn't explain. And I've been sending him into that situation, daily. He's confused, afraid, worried... he wants to go to school. He doesn't want to leave the house. He wants his friends. He does not want to see her. He thinks it is his fault, that he did something wrong and is being punished. And making him understand is almost impossible.

I want this woman in the worst way, and I hate feeling like that. I hate this boiling anger that I'm carrying inside of me now. I am almost sick with the rage that I have- but that's normal, considering what Jake's going through and been through. I want to know why, though, and I doubt that's an answer we'll get. I think it's because of a lot of things- most importantly being the fact that I didn't drop it when push came to shove. How could I though? He's my child. And when it comes to my kids? I will never drop it, whatever "it" happens to be at the moment.

The thought of all of it makes me physically ill. I feel like I enabled someone to mistreat him, to lie on him, to bully him, to scare him. To possibly have hurt him. Scar him. And most of all, confuse him. Because he doesn't get it. He sees a person of authority shouting at him, and then he isn't back in school. He figures it's his fault. And that alone- some of the things he has said- makes me wonder exactly what goes on in there. Special needs kids are easy victims- they trust and believe people very easily. Or aren't believed when they speak up. Think about it- if it comes down to he said/she said, you have a teacher who is trained to work with special needs.... and an autistic, bi-polar six year old. How easy would it be to brush off his stories as fantasy? As imagination? And those are words this teacher has used on every occasion I've been around her- about every kid she's dealing with. Play acting, imaginative, story tellers, little actors, liars... as if they are totally unbelievable. Maybe she counts on those seeds she plants. I'm willing to bet that she does.

And I'm not saying he hasn't had some fantastic tales- but those are very obvious. And like I've said before- when he is lying, you can tell. He skips from moment to moment, story to story, and simply cannot remember what he's said or not said. When he tells you something over and over again? He's telling you the truth. He wouldn't remember otherwise.

I want this to go away. For him. For all of us, to get back into some normalcy, some routine. But I am willing to risk every piece of "normal" to prove that I will never stop, when it comes to my children. I will continue to fight for him, any of them, every second of every day, until their world is right again.

Because that fear in his eyes? Kills me. It sickens me, angers me, tears at my heart in a way that nothing ever has before. His confusion, his worry, his behavior changes? Are keeping me moving, searching, learning every angle on this sort of situation. I'm looking into every possible step that can be taken to make sure this never, ever happens again. To him, or to anyone else.

Because I can guarantee two things. Jake is not the first kid she's done this to- there's just no way. He will, however, be the last. I'm going to make sure of that.

3:27

Don't ask what that title means- it's sort of a joke. And sort of not. Heh.

Not going to be time for an in depth TV post tonight, because I'm starting to seriously freak out about tomorrow. BUT, I will tell you this- the TV thing is gonna be awhile coming after the concert, and when it comes, it'll be in parts. Why? Because i have a DVR I'm madly in love with, and it records more than enough for me to be a couch potato when I grab an hour or so to plop. So, be ready to hear about (in no specific order)- Bones, Law and Order: SVU, Eli Stone, 90210, Fringe, Life, Ghost Hunters, The Mentalist, Supernatural, Reaper, Smallville (maybe, if I can stand it this season. So couldn't the last couple.) and a few more! Told ya- TV whore here.

We have another school issue on our hands, which will be resting in J's corner tomorrow. I did my part today and will pick it up again on Monday morning. This time, it's more of the same, and we have finally figured out the issue0- abuse of power, big time. And when this "power" is challenged, she gets vicious. She has no idea what vicious is. Yet. She will. I've made my calls, set things in motion, and informed everyone involved I'm out of commission till Monday morning. We will not be taking calls from the school in my house, period. They can go through my son's advocates. And that special needs teacher? Can take calls from the Board of Education. More on that next week.

Tonight, I just wanna freak out. Screw the school and the drama, and the rest of life's knocks, for just a little while. Give me 24 hours to recharge, and remember what it was like BEFORE there was all this crap. I think I need it, just for a minute. Just to breathe and relax and stop wondering what's coming next. I have to get my mind off this never ending roller coaster of what will happen each time Jake walks out the door. And I have to wrap my head around the fact that some people truly are evil. I'm dealing with that, we all are, and I've been dealing with it 24-7 since he started school there. It sounds crazy, but I had her from first sight, I knew he was going to have trouble. Not this kind of trouble, but trouble nonetheless. I knew even more when he was hurt and she denied knowledge and called him a liar. Knew more when this "mistaken identity" happened... which now seems like a purposeful lie. Knew more when I saw her scream in another child's face, calling him stupid. And knew today that she was the one who should have recognized trouble in me, when my son sobbed all the way home in the car because he'd been jerked, shaken and screamed at. Because he wouldn't lie. He was standing in a corner, shaking. disoriented and confused, unable to find his things. Because he wouldn't lie.

I'm dwelling on it, I'm chewing it around and around until it boils up in my throat. Let me be very specific- the mistaken identity? They accused Jake of molesting a boy. It was another child with the same name who did it. That's on record, written and spoken (I recorded the last meeting.) When they did so, they accused us of molesting Jake. Obviously, there was no concern. special Ed got her hands slapped for taunting me with it, for not following the IEP (he has not recieved ANY therapy there, and it's written in his IEP he gets three different kinds). Her hand was bitch slapped, or about to be, for allowing him to become injured at school and not doing her job. So, whe he hit a kid today in the regular class (come to find out taught by her DAUGHTER) she told me, again, he was fondling. Written report, of today, says "hitting." Jake's story is she told him we do bad things. He said no (already crying from being yelled at, called bad, and called a brat) and she grabbed his shirt collar, shook him (he acted this out on me), jerked him forward, got into his face (again acted out with me) and said "Yes. They. Do." I went to pick him up after they called about the hitting, and after she taunted me in the hall, saying she was uncomfortable talking with me, smirking all the while, she left. Only she is "concerned" and "uncomfortable". Her aides, who are the ones actually working with Jake, have never seen or heard anything out of him. Only in kindergarten does he hit. Only to this teacher does he "say and act disturbing." So, yeah. I need a minute.

And I'm going to put it away. I filed reports on her this afternoon. For abuse and negligence. I'm filing more Monday. I'm writing a letter to the editor of our paper. I'm calling in the State and getting a lawyer. But for now? For this moment, this day, this weekend? I want to go and forget some. I want to enjoy what I've spent months preparing for (and only after J is forcing me.. I was seriously not going to go after this went down.) He says he will handle, I believe him. And I want to come home, share my memories and my weekend with my family. And fogr on at the start of the week.

Follow me on twitter- updates all day. Email me if you need to, I won't be getting back to anyone till Saturday afternoon. Keep us in your thoughts, will ya? This is supposed to teach me something, all of it, and I'm still waiting to see exactly what that is.

For now, I just wanna be a Blockhead today.

My Kid, the Scapegoat

I'm not one of those parents who thinks their kids do nothing wrong. I can't stand parents like that, honestly. There's not a kid on Earth who won't pull something... even a small something.. if they think they can. That's part of being a kid. Put them in a group, and there's a chance they're going to bicker, nit pick, etc... and usually, there is one kid who gets the blame for all of them. That, apparently, is Jake.

The last two weeks, in and out of school, it seems I've been battling for my son. Tonight was no exception. Jake is only six, but he's bigger than a lot of kids years older than he is. He's taller by genetics, bigger by medications. So they think he can handle the picking, the teasing, the rough housing. He doesn't handle it well- last night a smaller kid (his age) called him a fat shit. He cried for almost half an hour over that one- he simply does not understand why this little boy chose to be mean to him, can't wrap his head around the fact that some kids are just mean to anyone they sense is weaker. He doesn't realize that this other kid? Is a shit.

Tonight, an older kid ( a friend of Alyssa's from school) tackled him to the ground because Jake wanted to touch his bike, and wouldn't back off about it. Jake doesn't back off- it's part of his personality. He fixates, and it's hard to distract him with something else once he sets his mind. So, more crying, more explaining (mainly that there is to be no pushing, hitting, etc., of any kind from any of them, mine included, for ANY reason). Even though part of me hoped Jake would have finally had his fill and knocked the kid back-I don't encourage them to fight, but once they see you crying, they know they can pick. at least tell them to back off and keep their hands to themselves.

After that, they were playing with the little guy next door. they play well together, they get along, we don't have any issues with them or they with us. And when there was an issue (the boys decided they'd name call, both ended up crying, both in trouble) the boy's father brought him over to make it right. Tonight, apparently, there was an issue with the little guy doing something his mom wanted. He lied and said he was, Jake lied and agreed he was. Yeah, it was a petty lie, but a lie nonetheless, and the kid's mom took it upon herself to tell my two that her kid isn't allowed to play with liars.

One, don't talk to my kids that way. Ever. Two, don't include Alyssa in something she didn't do. Three, Don't. Talk. To. My. Kids. That. Way. EVER. So I went over to see what had happened. It goes something like this- she tells me what happened, I ask why she said that to my kids. She stammers that she doesn't want her son thinking lying is ok, and won't let him fall in with "a bad crowd" of kids who lie all the time. I guess that means i should take the kids' supply of booze, weapons and heroin away... **sigh**....

So I inform her that first, she really shouldn't say that to other people's children, since she's trying to set an example to her own children about the right way to be and do things. Then I added, especially an autistic child who was backing up his buddy. And is now crying in the house because he thinks he lost his friend. And because I got on him about lying- I don't tolerate it either. But I'll handle it with my kids, thanks.

That's the first time I have ever told someone Jake has autism and enjoyed watching them squirm. even more so when her husband joined us and was concerned; we got off on a good foot about the kids when we met, and he seems like a genuinely nice guy. She stammered and stumbled some more. I explained I was concerned because she told the kids that her son couldn't play with liars. She seemed very uncomfortable.

It was left that hers was being punished for the night, not that he wasn't allowed to play with the kids, of course not, that wasn't what she meant, etc.... I'm confused, since that's what she said. She introduced herself after, friendly as can be. Why, because she was wrong? Or because my kid is autistic and suddenly she felt like a shithead?

I'm in the wrong for this, but I'm hoping for shithead.

Did I Say "Normal"??

I should've known, really. Today was going too well. The bus brought Jake to his drop off... and then proceeded to attempt driving off with him. They were unsure, apparently, of where we wanted him to be dropped off. Since this is, from the arrangement the principal made, the only place close to home for him to BE dropped off... **sighs**

And it gets better. He got in the door and grinned at me (I stayed home with Taylor today, to fight off this achy pukey feeling) and he was missing half a tooth. Like, his front tooth is half gone, the entire right side. It looks as if someone cut it in half, it's so precise. Apparently, a fifth grader ( one who lives in my neighborhood, one we warned the teachers to keep at bay) pushed his head down on his desk, knocking the tooth out. And no one called me.

Jake says they sent the boy home early, because of it. He also says that he cried and cried, and that he wanted his tooth. Why they didn't send it is a mystery; the tooth fairy would certainly visit him for having his head slammed on a desk.

Yet another morning will be spent asking another set of questions. Especially why this boy (also in the special classroom, they are all crammed together.... totally detrimental to learning, I think) was anywhere near Jake, when we specifically asked he be kept at a distance. Especially when he'd have a chance to do something like this- because it was a matter of time.

I'm more than fed up, let me tell you. It's been every damn day with this place. I am no longer baffled at the low scores in our county, or even our state. The inmates run the asylum has never fit a situation better- especially when a grown woman is trying to put a tooth back INTO a child's mouth.

I'm at a loss this time, really I am. So tomorrow I'll go back in for some more vacant, lights aren't even on smiles and to have all my words go in one ear and out the other. Next time? I'm filing a formal complaint against the school.

Puff...

Tomorrow... er, today, I should say... is going to be very interesting. I mentioned before that it's the first day of school. What I didn't know is that it would be yet another issue. Between Jake's caseworker (also his school and other community program advocate) and I, we learned today that some things are.. well, frankly they're bullshit. Between last week (setting up meetings with a principal who knows exactly who he is, about his case, etc.,) and now, we've come across a myriad of issues, stemming from two different stories. As of today, as opposed to Thursday of last week, my son is now known as a "Phantom Child." As in, somewhere along the line, his paperwork (IEP, evaluations, testing and registrations for school) have been "lost". Supposedly, he is unknown at the school he has been registered for since May of this year. Supposedly, all of those things? Were never sent. We know better. His preschool knows better.

In this district, from what I understand and was told to me, as late as this afternoon, when a child is to be placed in a special classroom, he is registered and tested by the Special Education section. That, in this case, would be the superintendent present for meetings, testings, etc. that was done, according to the Special Education secretary/coordinator at his preschool. We have that paperwork. We have his IEP, his psychological evaluation, and his kindergarten screening-testing results. Those were done in his preschool classroom, because registering and testing in the "normal" setting for a child of his needs is too stressful and anxiety provoking for the child, therefore making the results skewed.

And yet.. yet.. somehow this has happened. And fingers are being pointed in every direction. So what should be a happy, easy transition for my son has become an obstacle. A mess of papers, running around to find others' copies, and finding who is responsible for all of this. Be it the superintendent or the special ed program at his school, it does not matter to me. It's one more thing, one last thing, that proves, again, my point.What happened in less than one week to suddenly make my son a ghost? To change easy transition into a possible nightmare of change, with the threat of him not even being able to go to school.

Hello again, small town. Hello, one more reason I do not want my children in this district, this county. And finally, there is agreement. My kids are my life. They will not fail. Their lives? Will never be compromised. Ever. There's no debate there, no option for anyone, or anything, to shift their reality. Living in this town has done enough of that. (Yes, there is a LARGE portion of backstory here that I am not giving. By my own omission, not anyone else's.)

To sum it up, I will say this: my son IS starting school tomorrow. With no hassle, as far as he will ever know. And someone will be held accountable, as high as I have to go. This won't be let go, or pushed aside, or ignored- not where my son is concerned. Not when everyone I know has known, for ages, my fears and concerns for him regarding school.

Tell me I'm overreacting, too angry, overly upset... and I will tell you more than enough about the town I live in (and the "influence" in it) to make your hair stand on end. Every school year, it's something. Every time my family makes a move, it's something.

This is the last time. Period.

Your Daily Dose of "The Bitch"

I mentioned in my first post that this was not a shiny happy blog. Here is your first glimpse of that.


Just read a post about women going nuts online because one was married to the other's ex and they happened to read each other's blogs. I wonder if that really happens? If the exes read the current's blogs. Probably does. And some would read for mild interest, I'm sure. Others would read because they're stalkers, and have nothing better to do. For those, it would make them bonkers to read about how their ex has a Life Without Them!!!!

So, I wonder if that's true.....




..... I really fucking hope so.

Assholes, I can call them whatever I want. I see them on Big Brother, OK?

Check this out.

And this guy works with disabled kids. EVERY DAY. I can't even comment further on this one right now other than to say this is the mindset that hinders and doesn't help.

Get a new job. Asshole.