I've got a song for ya. I have a passion for music, especially lyrics. Grab me, pull me in, make me think. Make me RELATE. I want to hear something and say- yes, I've been there, absolutely. This week, it happened in a big way. I think that this is one of the best songs I've ever heard. I don't think anyone could hear it without it hitting home. It's deep... but it has the attitude I can't seem to get enough of.
People are judgmental. Believe me, I am too. It's so easy to look at others and think what we'd do in their shoes... the things they do that we "never would". The opportunities they do or don't have and don't "do it right"... like we would. Thing is, you don't know how you would do, say, react, live... until you are in someone else's shoes, in their hearts and minds you have no clue what makes them tick. Or why they are on the paths they are. You can think you know it all day long... but you just don't. And no one knows it about you, either. We all make choices that people judge us for. We are all under a microscope at some point. So think about it next time you want to gossip, speculate or whatever else- how do you know? Really?
This video DOES have some profanity, so you may want to grab some headphones! :)
Up until this point, I have managed to sound like a fairly normal mom and housewife. I have let slip my passion for Oreo’s and all things chocolate. I have shared my tendency to hide said chocolate from my children (they don’t need the sugar high, believe me!). My “What I’m Up To” page boasts my love for Nora Roberts (cause she doesn’t write sex books with a little other stuff tossed in, she writes life stories with a little sex tossed in). We haven’t covered favorite shows, movies and music yet, but we will. Today, however, I leave my seemingly normal self behind and expose my dirtiest little secret. I have hinted at this previously, even warned. But now it will be fully exposed.
When I was nine, some twenty years ago (good God I’m honestly saying twenty years…) my mother gave me a cassette for Easter. (Repeat above, insert cassette.) On the cover was a blurry black and white of five young men. (Yes, this *is* where this post is going, read on at your own caution.) I had seen the video on MTV of these guys, and I admit (to my later shame and horror) that I was unimpressed. I had Kirk Cameron telling me to Just Say No at the time, and I was cool with that. The photo my mom took of me holding the tape showed me looking relatively bored, in my pink nightie. Needless to say, this photo became the first picture in a later scrapbook with the caption “The Beginning!!” in large, tweeny scrawl across the page. **sigh**
To go into complete detail, I’d have to give you a total breakdown of my childhood, and that’s something I’ve done and would rather not do again at this time. I’ll just say something clicked and I decided fairly quickly that Kirk could tell someone else what to say. 
When I say “crazy”, this is not a lighthearted term. The three large totes and one NKOTB trunk in storage speaks for itself. If it had the logo, or their faces, I had to have it. Being an only child and sheltered (suffocated) by my mother, I was… over indulged, shall we say. T-shirts, nightgowns, dolls… it was a never ending stream of these cuties. My room looked like the merchandising people came in and threw every single thing they made all over the place. I didn’t know what color my walls were for who knows how many years. And honestly, like a lot of other people say about things, these guys got me through. To this day, I can de-stress immediately by listening to their voices. It was a haven and escape having them to grow up with, and for that reason alone, my loyalty can remain. (We don’t need to talk about the fact that when I was ten, I planned my wedding to Joe- that’s just unnecessary. LOL) My friends still mention them, my husband still teases me. And I still smile like a kid in a candy store.
I was an oddball, and never quite fit. I had few friends, and wasn’t allowed to do a lot. So my fixation was something psychological, I’m sure. whatever it was, I loved them. Fiercely. I took a lot of shit about it, but I never wavered. And, to their credit, they were huge. They were compared to The Beatles, The Jackson Five. And rightly so. They had fans worldwide, and still do. They were a part of millions of girls lives growing up, and some grew out, some stuck right with them for the entire ride. And then they disappeared, walked away from it, and for me, the world was a little darker for awhile.
Fast forward fourteen years or so, to an adult woman with a husband, house and kids. I still listen to Joe’s music and have connected with other women who grew up listening and still do. I have watched these guys I grew up with in movies, on Broadway, and marveled at how they haven’t changed a bit, to me. They are old familiar friends. They are a hell of a lot of what is warm and safe and fun from a lot of my younger years. Now, recently the rumors started about a reunion, a comeback… I’m not quite sure what the actual deal is, if any. I was nonchalant, but curious. Wow that would be neat, was my main thought.
I’ve never been one of the fans who wanted a reunion, really. They are adults, with their own lives and families, much like all us crazy gals now are. I never understood the crazed way people still got over old groups reuniting, doing shows, etc. Yesterday, I stumbled upon their official website however, and there is a teaser of a new song. Again, “well, that’s neat, let’s check it out.” I popped on my headphones, since Jim was sleeping (along with his writing, he works a 40 hour 3rd shift job, so I can stay home with my babies) and decided to listen. And I went crazy. Again.
I lost all adult reasoning as I attempted to freak out silently. I cried a little. LOL Memories ran through my head like crazy and it was the strangest thing, hearing them now. My children wandered in and stood watching me for who knows how long, waving my arms in excitement and mouthing “ohmygodomygod”. They sound the same, almost. But they still mesh. And it still clicks. And a twelve year old girl came alive in a 29 year old body and felt that freedom again.
I, of course, showed it to the kids. Miss Lyss was excited. “I am so happy for you,” she said seriously. “But, aren’t they old??” **sigh** Jake was a little puzzled. “Is that Dad?” **snickers** No, my dear, but my taste has always leaned to the blue eyed ones…. and let’s not ask Dad if that’s him, mmmkay???
So, there it is, my dirty little secret. I was a Blockhead. Guess “am” would be a better term. If that makes me a weirdo, geek, dork, what have you, so be it. I’m not alone, believe me! LOL I like to think it gives me some quirkiness, and makes me fun. Or strange, take your pick. 