We Wish You...

...a Merry, Merry Christmas from our house to yours! And... have a funky New Year! :)

From Our House To Yours

It's Christmas Eve! the cookies are made and ready for Santa, the stockings are ready to be filled. The New Year is just around the corner, and I'm excited to see what changes 2009 will bring. 2008 brought more than a few, that's for sure.

Tomorrow will be the flurry of wrapping paper, dinner (lasagna here for Christmas!) and that cozy feeling of "after"- you know the one. When it's all said and done, you can just sit back with a stretch and a long "ahhhh"... and finally relax a little. Enjoy the lights and the tree for a little longer, without that feeling of hurry, hurry, get it all finished...

I hope that your 2008 was all that it could have been (and still be!), and that 2009 hold a promise, a twinkle in its eye and a mischievous grin that it's going to be an unforgettable year. Happy Holidays from Casa Diva, whatever you celebrate. May your year end and begin surrounded by family, friends, hope and home. But most of all, with love.

Merry Christmas, Internet! ....

.. And, oh yeah- have a funky New Year :)

Caffeine Fueled

Whew. It's nice to sit down with a cup of coffee (I'm way past one too many cups at this stage) and be able to chat with you for a minute here. This time of year is insane, which I'm sure all of you know already. There are too many things to do, on top of every day stuff to do... and the hours in the days just seem to speed past. I'm up to my ears in school plays, cookies, and wrapping paper right now. Every year it gets busier, as the kids get older. They have parties at school, gift exchanges, Secret Santa. Basically, from the end of November until Christmas break, they have free access to not only all the money we may have, or want to have, but also all the rest of our (tiny reserve) of sanity. I want everything to be perfect, and I'm learning to pace myself with it, rather than think about it until I'm down to the last day or two, running around like crazy cleaning and doing last minute things. that causes a lot of unnecessary frustrations. Procrastination, though a talent of mine, is not helpful.

I've been power cleaning, so all I'll need to do is a few last minute swipes with a dust rag and a quick run of the vacuum. I've also been writing- sort of. I've got a skeleton of a story roaming around in my head and making its way into my Word program. Bare bones right now, with a few names and ideas. For the strangest reason, names are the hardest thing for me. Once they're done, I can pretty much go with the flow, and let the story find its way. Because it usually does- it never ends up how I'd planned. The characters seem to take over and drive themselves along... and that's when i know I'm doing it right. :)

So, busy doesn't cover it. I'm so full of caffeine it's ridiculous... but I'm moving like a tornado through here, getting everything out of the way before the kids get off for break. The less I need to get done with everyone underfoot, the better. So, keep your fingers crossed that I can keep running. LOL I figure as long as the music keeps playing, and the coffee pot doesn't break down, I'm good.

Tonight it's Lyss' Christmas play. She is a rock star doll. Fitting. She gets to play air guitar. they've been practicing like crazy for weeks now, and she comes home exhausted, wondering aloud if she REALLY wants to be in musicals when she grows up. Ahhh, I love it! They are performing at the high school, which to her seems equivalent to "on Broadway", so she's been pretty nervous about it. I think it's cute, watching her walk around with her script, mumbling to herself. Complaining to me about some of the other kids not paying attention during rehearsals. "So unprofessional", she says. Complete with sigh, and hair toss. Cracks me up.

So, that's what's going on at Casa Diva right now. What's happening in your neck of the woods?

Pretty Paper....

I watch my kids watching me prepare for Christmas. Alyssa, especially, is taking it all in, soaking it up, mentally filing the things we do away in her memory, so she can someday incorporate these family traditions into her own family. They are all still young enough for Santa, reindeer and cookies, but I have a small ache in my heart at thinking this could be the last year Alyssa believes. She asked me about Santa, earlier in the week. My response was to ask her what she thought. She answered that she still believes in her heart, and that makes him real enough for her. She's a smart one, my oldest girl. Because it's true.

Santa is magic and cookies and anticipation.. and more magic. He's something that kept us awake, wriggling in excitement, hoping to catch a glimpse of Rudolph, or Blitzen, eating their carrots as Santa munched on cookies, putting everything we ever asked for under the Christmas tree. And, for me, Santa is as magical now as he was then. Maybe more so. I understand the thrill my parents got watching me on Christmas morning- watching my eyes widen, hearing me gasp or squeal in excitement. There's just nothing like it. Bottle it, sell it, you'd make a million, believe me. There is just nothing as good as kids on Christmas morning.

We've got our music, like I've said. And I've finally had my moment. I knew it was coming, I could feel it creeping up on me as I watched them, as I lit candles, decorated rooms, made lists of ingredients for cookies, fudge and the like. And when Willie Nelson's voice came through the speakers, singing to us about his pretty paper, his pretty ribbons of blue... I had to take a breath. Then another. Then let my kids see me cry. Because there are times they need to understand that sad is ok. And someday, a long time from now hopefully, they will feel the same- I miss my mom.

I can finally say it, and feel it, for the first time, really. Whether that makes me cold, indifferent, whatever, there it is. Because of the past, the way our relationship was, it's been hard to miss her. To let go of the negative things she instilled in me, all the things she did to my friends, my life... someday I'll tell you more about that. For now, we will just say she was not an easy woman to live with, deal with. I never felt close to her as I got older, I felt trapped by her. I was afraid of her. But this year, seeing all the kids, I guess I can find a common ground with her.

She loved me, I know that. It wasn't a healthy love,but it was there. She decorated the way she did for me, for making the memories we did. The ones that stick, the ones I've brought to my own family. The ones that are warm and comfy, easy to smile at.. and I guess now, easy to cry for.

I miss being that young, coming in from school and seeing the lights, the decorations, the tree. I miss sitting with my Dad on Christmas Eve and morning, opening gifts and laughing. I miss the innocence and wonder I see in my own childrens' eyes. And I'm thankful, for all those Christmases my parents made so memorable and so magical. for having that to pass down, no matter what else is happening in the world around us. For twinkling lights, cookies, carrots, and most of all, for all that pretty paper.

Christmasy

Happy weekend, Internet! What's new?

Well, the house is decked out, the Christmas lights are on, and it's snowing outside. I'm making a stew pot of my taco goulash (which is my own recipe, and not traditional goulash... but oh, so hearty, spicy and yummy!) for dinner and decorating the kids' area with their tree and lights. We spread the Christmas out here at Casa Diva- that's what keeps the fun and excitement building, for all of us.

We're Christmasy. The house smells like gingerbread and cranberries, the recipes and ingredients lists are out and slowly being added to, taken off. The girls and I are baking cookies and other Christmas goodies next weekend with friends- I'm in my element right now. I'm in such a good mood it's sickening. But hey- it's Christmas!

I'm Christmas crazy, what can I say? I'm all about the tinsel, lights, smells and tradition. It's warm, it's cozy, it's familiar. It's something to look forward to- a season of curling up with family and friends, sharing recipes, traditions... building your own. That's what I love most of all, making the traditions that will be looked forward to, counted on, laughed about and remembered. Making traditions that my kids will hopefully take with them, adjust and blend into their own.

I may delve into the recipe archive I'm growing over here and start posting some favorites. I can't spill any family secrets, mind you, but I can toss out some yummies nonetheless.

Right now, I'm off to get my goulash simmering. Easiest recipe in the world, but tastes like you cooked all day- my favorite kind. And versatile! I do chili goulash, taco goulash, sloppy Joe goulash, Italian goulash... it never ends. Add in some rolls or warm bread- absolute heaven!

Now go enjoy your weekend! Be safe, warm and happy- don't do anything I wouldn't do (or a lot of what I would, for that matter!) and RELAX!!! It's Christmas- take a break! So, get outta here... go have some Christmas cookies!