At this time, two Fridays away, I'll be sitting in the midst of chaos. Women will be screaming, crying, and possibly throwing lingerie at a quintet of men who changed a lot of lives back in the 80's-90's. Now that they have come back, they have changed these lives again. So, there I will be, in a floor seat close to that stage (edging ever closer if possible) snapping pictures and having the time of my life. Screaming and crying, no doubt, feeling like I'm twelve years old again, just waiting for Joe McIntyre to be the first man, other than my father, to tell me he loved me. I'll be surrounded by fellow Blockheads (smile), after having spent a day wandering the city of Cleveland, getting to know some of the women who have, in a sense, come home again.
It's really weird to say it like that, I get that. But there's no other way to explain it other than that. It is simply coming home- to a comfort that was missed, to many of our first loves, first influence, or even our first experience with live music. To be a part of it all again, as adults, is something I can't explain. It's odd, in a sense, because we have all changed as much as these men have. We've all lived our lives- married, had children, careers, lives completely seperate from where we were in 1990, when our bedrooms were plastered with the Five Hardest Working Kids in Show Business.
This time, we've all lived. We've all, Kids and fans alike, had our fair share of heartaches, joys and normal day to day crap. and yet here we are again, in full force, back where we were fifteen, twenty years ago. that says something to me. It renews my faith that there are some things worth holding onto.
this is what I'm talking about because this? This reunion? This upcoming show? Is keeping it together for me right now. this has been one of the hardest, most unpleasant weeks of my life, and I've really been on the edge a few times. I haven't blogged because there are some things I just can't say, there are some things that have no words. There are too many things happening at once right now, for me. there have been school issues, again (we can all say lawsuit, can't we? Yes we can!) as well as family matters that are taking one hell of a toll on me right now. I put on my brave face and go forth, because there are some things I'm embarrassed for people to see. My heart, at times, is one of them.
So right now? Right now I'm concentrating on playing my CDs and dancing with my kids, eating chips and salsa. I'm making them new recipes, playing with them... and concentrating really REALLY hard on what I have, personally, without anyone having had it first, better, or before me, loved for over half of my life now.
So bear with me if I post about this a lot, or disappear for days at a time. Right now? I am holding on very, very hard to the one thing I feel has always been mine.