I had a post typed out and ready to go, so I thought. Blogger decided otherwise...so...
In a nutshell, I am closing shop here at Casa Diva. This isn't my life anymore, so much has changed since we last had a chance to chat. I'm headed over here http://socalldlife.blogspot.com/ if you want to see where I'm going. :)
Sleepless nights. Worry like none you've ever felt. Cold dinners. Shared plates, beds and germs. You want to pull your hair out, they drive you crazy. And there is no love like this. Nothing compares, ever, to the fierceness with which I love them, all three, because they're ours, and because I wouldn't trade a second of seeing them become who they will someday be. Some of me, some of him, and 100% their own. Amazing is too weak a word.
She will be turning 11, this month. Our first baby, our first child. She met her father first, screamed then slept in his arms as he introduced her to her grandparents, aunts, uncles, as I recovered from the surgery that finally brought her to us. She was our only planned baby, our first endeavor into this game of being grown up, and she was a gift neither of us were prepared for or really expected. She is independent, outspoken, compassionate and a complete blend of he and I, this girl who loves astronomy, Stephen King, Big Time Rush and school. She deals with an autistic brother and 3 year old sister, waiting past their demands to be seen, and handled the changes of life with a grace I envy and an empathy I will admit I do not have. She loves us, but loves him fiercely, in a way I can't explain, and with moments I will never explain. She loves completely, unconditionally, and knows herself more now than even we do. Strong, beautiful, smart, and a person completely apart from either of us, and yet parts of both of us shaken and stirred. She is an imperfect blend made into perfection, and everything we wanted and more. It began with her, this crazy ride we are on, and the changes coming are for her. She is the trump card, the ace in the hole. She gave us the meaning of the word "family". And that is more, to us, than anything we could have hoped for. For her, I make my choices. And so does he. Life~ funny that way . Love, a lot better :)