I've never been confrontational. Ask anyone who knows me. I'll bitch and moan, ignore you, avoid you... but unless I can write you a letter, most likely I won't do a whole lot. I hate face to face, or over the phone, confrontations. They make me nervous and somewhat sick to my stomach. I was a backward kid, and a backward adult. Then, something just... snapped.
I still don't like confrontation. But I no longer ignore or avoid things that are on my mind or bothering me. Maybe I got tired of feeling stepped on, from everyone to the snotty check out chick at Kmart to the woman next door who just will not learn to shut the f**k up. Whatever it is, I'm on it, the second there's an issue. Especially one pertaining to my kids.
I mentioned before some issues we were having with school. Last week, we had a biggie. the ultimate in a lot of ways, one that could have ended very very badly for my family. One I lived in fear with almost silently for a week, not because i didn't need to vent, but because there were a lot of emotions churning around and I wasn't sure what to say. Or who to say it to.
I'll put it this way- I can't go into detail because of other children, etc., involved- my son was accused of doing something... horrible. And in turn, we were accused of doing something so awful I can't even fathom it. After a week of this, of believing he had possibly done something he could not possibly have learned at home, we had a meeting. the faculty involved, his advocate and myself.
We started the conversation with the actions the principal of the school had reported. Not to me, but reported. The kindergarten teacher spoke up then, horrified. Jacob had not done those things. Another child did those things. Not my child- someone else's. The special education teacher and principal had taken it upon themselves to question my son (who had actually punched another kid, THAT was what the kindergarten teacher had reported to the S.E teacher, who is his main teacher). There had been no documentation, of anything- the principal had not spoken to the teacher supposedly saying these things until our meeting. A week after the fact. And she hadn't even said it about my kid.
There is no paperwork about this- never was any. But there was enough to call in another party and write notes to other parents? And then laugh it off with a woops, our mistake?? With barely an apology, simply a throwing up of hands and a"well it was a miscommunication." Needless to say, livid does not cover it.
I could have lost my children. I could have, J could have, gone to jail. Because these dumb shits can't do their job. And now, they have the same complaint to file... with just a different kid's name in it. They don't understand the consequences- not just what could have happened to my family, but what could happen to someone else's if they are looked at now as if they cry wolf. Their next complaint could be legit, and they could be ignored, brushed off, put aside... and someone could be in danger. Because they obviously do not know the proper protocol when handling an incident of any kind. Write that shit down. Get your facts straight. Then go from there.
I may repeat myself, but the not writing completely throws me. with this sort of situation, i'd have written every detail, every name, every single sylable uttered. To work in the best interest of the child as well as protect everyone else, I'd have crossed all my T's and dotted every single damned I there was. Because that's the way these things work. everyone involved in an incident needs informed.
So i went to work. I got on the phone and I did not get off again until I was somewhat... somewhat.. satisfied. The school will be looked at closely, the people in charge in the building even closer. I feel confident that this WILL be set right. Because if the actions taken today do not set them right? I'll go up another rung on the ladder. And another. and another... you get the idea. Right now, I'm following procedure... ya know, what you're SUPPOSED to follow!?!??! I'm going with the legal advice I receieved this morning and going up the ranks as I need to until this situation is handled, and it's made sure that nothing like this ever happens again.
I am not mollified. Not by a long shot. I am simply doing what i need to, using the proper channels to get this settled to my satisfaction. And I hope I'm proving a point- don't f**k with my kids, ok? don't f**k with my family, don't try to back anyone in a corner. I will not be victimized. My family won't be victimized. Anyone that will listen will know about this. And this school? Better be ready- they have absolutely no idea the can of worms they have opened. This will not be swept under a rug, I'm not going away quietly. And ya know what they can do if it bothers them?
Put it in writing.