7/14/08

The One Where She Has a B-Fest

It's that week around the blog, folks. Yeah, THAT week. The one where all everyone should know is to hand over the chocolate, smile, tell me everything (including me) looks terrific, and back away. Slowly. Still smiling. But not too brightly, because then I'll wonder what the hell you're grinning at.

Even on a good day, I'm moody. On a not so good day... you can guess how that goes. I can find a reason to bitch about ANYTHING during this week, and chances are, you'll get to hear about it, Internet. Why? Because now, after all this time, we're just that close. I've told you about the cookie issues, I've told you (repeatedly) about my boys. Why should I hide this bitch inside, when really, all women have one. Some hide her better than others, but we all have one. And what is the one thing that can unleash that bitch like no other?? I'm assuming every single female that read that just had the same answer. Men. Sorry, guys, but it's true. And not just our own men. No. It can be any man, from your friends' men to men you don't even know. Why? Because men have the Open Mouth, Insert Foot illness. Never met a man that didn't have it on occasion, and I probably never will.

Now, this isn't a man bashing post, or me trying to say that only men say inappropriate things- not at all. But, there's nothing else on Earth that I've found capable of making a woman as crazy as a man does. It's probably vice-versa, which is how this whole chemistry thing seems to work with the opposite sex. You know, that whole can't live with 'em, can't kill 'em idea. : )

Right now, I'm just edgy and easily irritated. I don't want to pick up the clothes that can't seem to find the hamper, or do the dishes that no one knows how to rinse off. I want a massage, a margarita, and that chocolate I mentioned. And as for that whole "Gee, is it that time of the month or what?" Say this instead, guys- "You look gorgeous. Here is some candy." Then just go away somewhere for awhile. And pick up your damn socks!

4 comments:

Jenni Bates said...

Amen, sister!

Anonymous said...

The main thing is not to getexcited,it will work itsdelf out ok,no one had more bad times than me and a woman,you know who,but time will heal all wounds.
Yor DAD

we_be_toys said...

Nothing like a guy asking, "is that time of the month?" to ensure he gets a testicle tuck!

I will now put down the chocolate and step back slowly...easy now, easy...

Weaselmomma said...

I couldn't have said it better myself, especially the sock thing! But I'm bloghopping with the Coors Light, so don't take my word for it.