I have always known that eventually this would come. While I stilll feel it isn't my story to tell, I don't really understand why I feel that way. This is my family's story, after all, and there is that extension there. This story runs through my husband's veins, my childrens veins. This story has always been there, waiting to be told, and the last few days have proven that the main two "characters" if you will... well, one is unsure which way to step, the other is hell bent on wreaking havoc.
This is where I step in, in front of my family, my children, my life. The life my husband and I have built, the family we have made. The obstacles and issues, the worry and the feeling of always looking over our shoulder is done. I am tired of being backed into corners, worrying over other people. I can only control myself and my own reactions to things, and to people. I can control what my children see and hear about what's going on, and I can keep them as far away from things as humanly possible.
I will not have the drama, the games, the pettiness that are already creeping in. I will not have our lives turned upside down so anyone can lie, play games, or use "best interest" as a reason to be part of a package that they will never be included in.
I am tired of this. I'm tired of feeling like I have to keep things quiet, walk on eggshells, and "work together." That apparently means lying over your true intentions and telling one person one thing and others something completely different. Which.. ok, then... that works for me.
It is no longer a secret. I won't keep it that way to appease anyone. I'm tired of games, lies and two faced behavior. It will be very interesting to see what version of the truth has been spun so far. Either way, I can always correct that.