On Being Thankful

Yeah, I know. I know. I totally blew NaBloPoMo. I have no real excuses other than just being busy, and having too much on my mind and not enough hours in the day to get everything finished. I get this way around holidays, so tackling a new project was a bad call on my part. That and I don't always have something to say.... ok, that's not true, LOL. Maybe it's that I don't always have something to share with the world. That sounds better.

Now it's almost Thanksgiving, can you believe it? This year has flown by! Less than a month until Christmas- and then a new year will be right around the corner. It's so weird how time seems to just sail by now. when I was a kid, it took forever for Christmas to come around. The last few weeks were always the worst, too. The longest. It felt like it would NEVER get here. Now, it feels like it's coming way too fast and nothing will get done.

Tomorrow will be one of the best days of the year for me. I absolutely love the holidays, like I've said. There is something so comforting about it for me. We'll be up early, the turkey will be in the oven. the parade will be on TV in the background, and the Christmas decorations will start slowly overtaking the living room as we go through totes and start putting up the tree. There will be cocoa with marshmallows (or Cool Whip, for me) and a feeling of total peace in the house. It will be warm, cozy and just... family. Something that doesn't happen every day around here, believe me . A sense of "together". Let's hope I enjoy it again this year. Last year, I spent much of Thanksgiving hiding in the bathroom, sobbing hysterically into a towel. Thank you postpartum- among other things.

I'm thankful for it, though. Weird, but true. Just like I'm thankful for this family I have, however rocky the road has been, is and will be. I figured I'd post a few things that I truly am thankful and grateful for, because sometimes it's easy to forget to say it or show it.

I'm thankful for, more than anything, having held three perfect, beautiful babies in my arms. for knowing those first powerful feelings of complete love, fulfillment, anxiety, wonder and fear. for being with them every day, and struggling through financially, just to watch them grow and bloom into the people they will someday be. I could never replace that, would never trade that. (Remind me of that when I'm wanting to hide in the corner with a bottle of whiskey one evening)

I'm thankful that I can honestly say I have been head over heels, crazy in love. I've seen perfection when looking at another person, I've seen past everything else and felt that roller coaster feeling that only happens with a first, true love. I wouldn't trade that, either, because sometimes it isn't about the happy ending, it's about the story, the journey. and because one day, when my daughters come to me and ask me about my first love, no doubt when they're feeling it themselves, I'll be able to tell them about their father, and they will have a sense of knowing they came from that feeling.

I'm grateful for a roof over our heads, no matter how drippy it is, a cupboard full of food and the warmth of a bed, because look at the world. A lot of people don't even have a leaking roof over their heads, and I bet they'd give anything to have just that.

I'm thankful for my family and friends (who really are family). My best friend and her little guy, being able to raise our kids together, just like we always wanted. The hours of laughing, the glasses of wine, the years and years (did i mention YEARS, lol) we've had to build this bond.

But, everyone in my life gives me something, just like I hope I give them. Because that's the point. and I'm blessed to know everyone I do, blessed to have them all in my life, or to have had them in my life.

So, be thankful. Be happy, cozy and feel blessed, no matter what else is going on. Curl up with your family, your friends, whoever you have with you this time of year, and just be grateful. It's not always easy to see it this way, but we are all so lucky. We could all have it better, sure.... but it could be so much worse. Don't take it for granted, don't moan about what could be... just be thankful you have something to moan about. :)