9/8/08

Like You Were Dyin'

I've spent so much time the last few months wondering where I was going. Where I wanted to go, where I didn't.... and after the initial jumble of emotions, when the decisions came, they were just there. Conversations I've had have encouraged me, reaffirmed me, and some, though they still hurt like hell, have narrowed that path I somehow still wanted to have a wider, more optioned fork. Some things are not an option. I'm learning that, and I'm going from there.

So here I am. I am stronger, in a lot of ways, than I have ever been. My acceptable and unacceptable lists are a lot different than they used to be- and for some of that, I feel some regret. But it is what it is, and the people in my life have shaped those lists, made up a mind that is now completely my own. There is no longer that voice in my mind, the one I heard all of my life, telling me to doubt everything. The ghosts are gone, all of them. I have no time for it anymore- I have a life to live, and I have three sets of eyes watching me to see just how I do that. I ow it to them, to me, to do it right. For the first time, ever, I feel I am simply my own. I am no longer intimidated, by anything. I am finally free to feel, think, say and do what I want- and for the last few years, I've been the one holding me back, the only one.

this song says a lot about the way I'm thinking and feeling right now- and no, before anyone worries, I am NOT sick. I'm perfectly healthy, physically, mentally, spiritually... and I feel good. I think the song has a good message and one we could all benefit from.

I'm in a good place. One I'm enjoying. A healthy one, a happy one, a determined, focused, over it place where I can just grab life by the horns and GO.

Care to join me?



He said I was in my early forties,
With a lot of life before me,
And a moment came that stopped me on a dime.
I spent most of the next days, lookin' at the x-rays,
Talkin' 'bout the options and talkin' 'bout sweet time.
Asked him when it sank in, and this might really be the real end.
How's it hit ya, when you get that kind of news.
Man what ya do.
And he says,

[Chorus]

I went sky divin',
I went rocky mountain climbin',
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull name Fu Manchu.
And I loved deeper,
And I spoke sweeter,
And I gave forgiveness I've been denying,
And he said someday I hope you get the chance,
To live like you were dyin'.

He said I was finally the husband,
That most the time I wasn't.
And I became a friend a friend would like to have.
And all the sudden goin' fishing,
Wasn't such an imposition.
And I went three times that year I lost my dad.
Well I finally read the good book,
And I took a good long hard look at what I'd do
If I could do it all again.
And then.

[Chorus]

Like tomorrow was a gift and you've got eternity
To think about what you do with it,
What could you do with it, what can
I do with with it, what would I do with it.

[Chorus]
I went sky divin',
I went rocky mountain climbin',
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull name Fu Manchu.
And I loved deeper,
And I spoke sweeter,
And I watched an eagle as it was flyin'.
And he said someday I hope you get the chance,
To live like you were dyin'.

To live like you were dyin'.
To live like you were dyin'.
To live like you were dyin'.
To live like you were dyin'.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

How I wish to be where you are. Thank you for the post and reminder that we can be happy. We just have to find that path.

miss shannon said...

I love that song and it makes me stop and think about where I am and what is important in my life every time I hear it. Thanks you for sharing "where you're at" and what that song means to you too... Blessings