That's All, She Wrote

I think that would be a great poem title. Might get to working on that. I'll add it to the ever growing list of "Oh my God this is what I gotta do".

A lot has been taking place over here at Casa Diva, and some of it is a tad too personal to go into at the moment, but I wanted to mention, briefly, that there may be some melancholy days ahead. And some angry ones as well, mixed in with the energized, doing what I have to days. Such is life, yes? Yes.

I am one of those women that will follow my gut instinct on things- I have learned the hard way not to ignore that little voice in your head that nudges you. I think everyone has it, that sixth sense, but we like to squash it and go about life blindly, even when it hurts. there are some things you just know, and there's no way around it. You may not know why you have to do something, you just know you have to.

I think, now, I know both. Or at least parts. I have known for awhile now, I guess, but now it's as if the clouds have parted and the sun is too bright to ignore. Ahhh, this is what happens when you ignore that voice for so long- and i did, when it would pop up briefly over the last years- and then finally it hits you with a nudge so powerful you know you have to act. Immediately. No way around it, no looking back... you just have to.

I don't have all the answers to everything, but I have enough to know I am moving in the right direction. That has to be enough, for now. And it's more than enough, in some aspects, because this is the first time in a long time I have felt that.

I feel validated, about a lot of things. Guilty about more than a few, sad about more than i want to. But I also feel right. That has to count for something.

1 comment:

Whiney Momma said...

Oh I wish I knew more of what was going on but we can totally understand the need to talk about it without really talking about it. I hope whatever it is you do find solace and peace. I am sorry that whatever it is has been going on for so long. Relationships are all about trial and error, as with everything. Hopefully everyone will learn from whatever it is that caused the problem.

Oh and on a little side note-- come on by and visit and pick up a little something I have for you.