"I wish things were different." "Maybe when this, that or something else happens, changes, goes away, etc...". How many times have you heard, thought or said something to that effect? Bet it's a lot. We are in love with "what if" and "if only." They're great for tossing blame at; they are our best excuses.
Me? I'm tired of thinking that way. I want some things to be different. So, I'm going to make them different. I want things to change? I'll have to start with those changes, won't I? No one is gonna do it for you, no matter how hard you wish they would- or they want to.
I'm tired of the worries, the what if's, if only's and maybe laters. It's all about now- every step, every breath, every single moment is what matters... not what might happen if so and so or such and such does this and that.
I feel younger, lately. More rejuvenated, more.... me. I want it to stay that way. I like me this way, and my kids are benefiting from a mom who dances with them, sings loudly, off key and laughs about it. They benefit from the mom who helps them make water slides and find mud puddles when it rains- for so long, that part of me just wasn't what it should have been. Because I wished things would change, and wishing was all I did.
Now, I'm changing them. Piece by piece, moment to moment, things are shifting. And it feels damn good.