Everything, Nothing and In Between

I am interrupting the beginning of our regularly scheduled (ok, sporadically, when you least expect it, cause I'm too cool for schedules, if "cool" means held hostage by snowed in children) post to mention that today, I am filled with hope. There is change on the way for our country, hopefully positive. I feel it will be, but I'm not in the business of guaranteeing people will follow promises with action. Cause, seriously? My radar with that is sometimes waaaay off. But, I feel somewhat renewed. Whether you agree or not, like it or not, we did make some history with this election. I feel the right choice was made, I think that President Obama is the face of hope for a lot of people. To me it isn't about race, it's about the best person for a job. But, I do feel that by winning the election, Obama sends another message of hope to this country- anything can happen. In other words- "Yes, we can." Let's see what we take from this, and do with it. If we want change, we have to make change, too.

A change I'd like to make? To see some green outside. this white crap is killing me. When it's not in single digits, or negatives (which has just been so much fun!!!-do you hear the sarcasm? cause it's not dripping, it's oozing) it's snowing. When it's not snowing, it's a glare of ice. Today is the first day back to school with no delays, and it's snowing. I am shaking my head, squeezing my eyes shut and wishing for a beach somewhere.

But, I can wish for beaches all day long. Not happening. I will deal with this weather the way I have been (no, not by drinking! Why would you say such a thing?.....), and somehow survive the cabin fever without listening to that inner voice that pops up and says "THAT'S why Jack Torrance went crazy on his family...."

I have been cooking and baking a lot lately. Playing around with some recipes and adjusting them to be more versatile, more picky person friendly, and just mine. Mine in the way that whenever my kids eat it, they'll remember just how good their mom's such-and such tasted. I've made muffins, cookies, chicken parmesan, burger dip, lasagna, my knock off stroganoff, chili mac, my sloppy Joe, tuna noodle, and drinks that can be made virgin for the kiddos and add a little something extra for the adults to give some extra warmth. I've been busy. I've also been mixing and matching candle scents to make my own blend for my candle warmer. Basically, my house is always warm, filled with food and smelling yummy. I'm losing the "not so" part of my title here, people. Winter is domesticating me in ways I've never been domesticated before. I'm afraid, Internet. Hold me.

I started out doing it to prove a point, I think. That I **could** try new recipes and ideas without that stupid fear of failure. And I was GOOD at it- my kids enjoyed every single thing. even Alyssa, who is so picky I want to scream sometimes. The kid hates peanut butter. And pizza. And eight hundred other things. They liked the sandwiches I made up as I went, the casseroles and new meatballs and burgers... and I liked that for every new thing they tried, one more fast fix went out the door. You know you've spoiled them when your toddler turns her nose up at spaghetti-o's, and opts for your own pasta. Especially when spaghetti-o's were her favorite food. Heehee.

I'm enjoying this domesticity and that's weird! I've never really BEEN that way before- I mean, i cook, clean, all that good stuff, but there's been so much negative stuff that kept me from really trying to enjoy myself, in whatever I was doing. I've never truly taken pleasure out of creating things, because there was always something keeping me from really letting loose and just going wild with it.

I'm telling you- life really does begin at thirty. Because now I DO go wild with it, whatever it happens to be. And I figure it someone doesn't like it, they can kiss my ass and go on their way. Never thought of it that way before. Now that I do, it's a lot more fun! It makes for an easier day, I'll say that much. You worry soooo much less when you realize that no one, outside your own four walls, has an opinion that can make or break you. Even more when you realize that no one in those four walls does, either.

I've spent a lot of time cracking my own shell, and now I think it's finally just busted open and someone brand new has stepped out. It does make people look at you differently, having a confidence in yourself, a better posture, a better outlook. And it FEELS so much better. I'm a better person than I've been in a long, long time. and that makes me a better mom. I'll take it.... and accept the casualties that come with it. Sometimes, there's just no other way. Sometimes, there are no more roads left, and it has to be a brand new direction.


If you like to cook, bake, or just have the option, you should check out Tastebook. they have a really awesome selection iof recipes, you can make your own books, add photos, etc... there are a lot of options over there. I've got four little books started already, LOL. It's addiciting!

What about you, Internet? Favorite dishes? Faves you cook or someone cooks/has cooked for you? Things your family can't live without?


Anonymous said...

I am glad you are learning to cook and bake,its always been a favorite ofmine,I still cook and experment with food especially seafood and we have access to lots of it here,my favorite Oysters baked stewed or in dressing,love you yur DAD

we_be_toys said...

I'm on a risotto kick right now, and this time the kids actually liked it! Moral of the story: just keep putting it on their plate and calling it "dinner"!
It is hard to want to cook, much less experiment, when the kids are still little and stuck on chicken nuggets, or whatever. We turned a corner about a year ago with that and they even tried and liked asparagus!! Go figure!