I have been doing a lot of reading this morning. Taking some advice I was given, and reading between the lines (funny how people hang themselves without knowing it, eh?) with things that have been said, etc. What i'm realizing is that no matter how it reads, I really don't give a shit. none is shocking, revealing, mind blowing... all it is comes down to the same things that have been said and done for almost as far back as I can remember. Same shit (heads), different day (week, month year.)
See, that's the thing. Life is about growing up, changing, evolving. When that doesn't happen, and you are the same person you have always been? your circumstance stays the same, or worsens. People move beyond you, because they are doing the healthy, normal things. Like living. For themselves. Making a life. when people say so and so hasn't changed at all, it's not usually said with a fondness. There's usually a head shake, or even a look of disgust, despair, whatever. Even if who you were a long time ago was great, chances are being that same person, without growth, in ten, twenty, etc., years just makes you immature.
I am not the same person I was. I can be, at times, but for the most part? Not so much. I'm not as easy about things now, or as nice. I don't "pointedly" do things for one to see.. I'll do it so everyone can see it, and let the pieces fall where they may.
I'm a firm believer in turning the other cheek. Until both of 'em are so bruised that you simply can't take another punch. Then, shit changes. Then it's simply an eye for an eye- equal you know? I'm also a firm believer in that whole equal, fair thing. Do unto others, isn't that how it goes? I don't think I've been doing my part. Be good to me, I'll be good to you. Other stuff, like oh I dunno... fucking up my marriage? Playing both sides..still... ? I'm gonna be... not so good to you.
So, let's leave it at this, shall we? Take that do unto others stuff seriously. Don't rock people's boats; you never know when the doormat's going to lose her shit and tip yours over.