**WARNING**- this will not be as light hearted as the previous two "Random" posts have been. I'm growing bolder with age, I suppose, and am going to let a little more hang out for the world to see. To truly embrace yourself, you have to be open and let the world think what it will... and I'm getting there, day by day. How I'm getting there has surprised me; it surprises me a little more every day. So, without further ado (LOL) more of moi.. (I know, you can hardly wait!!)
1. I have a mild form of hydrocephalus. To be easier explained, I have excess fluid in the left ventricle of my brain. not enough for a shunt, but enough to make some things a little more difficult than should be, I suppose. I didn't know a lot about it until i had a reaction to medication, because of the imbalance. Now, I have to be more careful.
2. I have terrible, terrible eye sight. I am supposed to wear glasses all the time, but don't. I'm not vain, but i think they make me look geekier than I need to, lol. I sometimes tilt my head or move it around, without my knowledge, attempting to "clear my vision." This is a habit that dates back to childhood, when I had a corrective surgery as a small child. My left eye is considered "lazy". I consider it a pain in my ass. : )
3. I'm not the girl i used to be, but this summer, I finally know where to find her when I need her. A lot has brought this on, shaped it and pushed it along. The sequence of events that started this year off have finally brought me closer to peace than i have been in a long, long time. I'm more grateful for that than anyone could ever know.
4. I am not perfect, but I'm a good person, deep down. I may not always show my softer side, but I care pretty deeply for those in my life. I can, however, turn it on and off as need be- a survival instinct that isn't a good thing, but one that pulls me through when I need it.
5. I fell in love with my husband when I was sixteen. We did not meet for another year and a half, or date for another two. The first time i saw him, he was smiling in a way that had me telling my mother he was the man I was going to marry. I wanted someone to smile that way at me; he eventually did.
6. I never give up, once I sink my teeth in. If i truly want something, nothing stands in my way. There are very few things i have ever wanted to that extent, but when i do, watch out. I don't quit, when it counts.
7. My mother was a beautiful woman when she was young. I didn't know this until i came upon a picture of her in a professional glamour shot. Growing up, she never dressed up or wore makeup- in that picture, she wore both. And was stunning.
That surprised me, for some reason. I never thought of her like that, I guess. She never showed that side of herself to me, and her attitude never brought it out.
8. My father was a handsome, handsome guy when he was young. I saw pictures of him all my life of when he was young, tanned and muscled. He saved a woman from drowning once, and was in the paper for it. I always thought he was the perfect hero, even when I didn't notice.
9. I have complete faith that I'm finally on the right track. where I'm going, i have no idea. But I'm getting there the right way. :)
So, what about you? what do you never think to mention?