“The devil has many tools, but a lie is the handle that fits them all.”
I saw this quote on, of all things, Facebook, and it hit me immediately. How true. Lies are easy, I know that as well as anyone else. I'm not going to sit here and say I've never lied or will never lie again. People lie- you really can't say you don't. Even something as simple as trying to spare feelings about a haircut, a shirt, whatever- it's still a lie, if you want to get all technical about it. A white one, one made with good intentions, perhaps... but a lie is a lie, isn't it?
It's easy though. You can find a hundred reasons to lie. Spare feelings (yours or someone else), avoid a confrontation, get out of a hole, get someone else out... put someone else in. From the best to the worst, there are lies and half truths everywhere you turn. The truth is hard. It's hard, it's messy and it can be scary. It's too real, too in your face- but you don't have to remember so many pesky details when your only story is the real one.
But it is the handle of many many tools. Doubt, anger, revenge... they spring from lies. Hurt, betrayal, disappointment.. we're all guilty of causing it. But it lingers, you know? It chips away at your trust and it gets harder and harder to take things at face value.
I have many (many, many, MANY) faults. Paragon of virtue, I'm not. I'm not writing anything to point fingers or be on a soapbox- if I'm going to point a finger, it's going to be the one in the middle then I'm on about my day. I don't have time-or room- to judge anyone, everyone has their issues and reactions, reasons we aren't meant to understand, because everyone is different. Makes the world go round, in a bumpy sometimes irritating way... but it keeps it from being dull. All I'm saying is the quote struck me, because it's absolutely true. You feel like a fool when you are lied to and find out-because you always find out, whatever it is. You feel guilty for lying- or really, you should... I'm being generous here, maybe, considering the state of the world today, but hey.... even something small and it can eat at you.
It's a no win situation- the truth is sometimes, too. At first. But after a time, it's a lot easier than dealing without it.
Like I said, there are a lot of reasons people stretch, bend or completely skip the truth. We lie about our feelings, our wants, our needs...we don't want to be a burden, or judged, or ignored. So we lie. I'm fine, it's ok... how many times have you said it? But eventually you start resenting it, getting annoyed with the fact that you're keeping things back, or letting everyone else be open and you nod and smile and say nothing. You want to go with the crowd, fit in, be a part- maybe you lie a little. You don't want to be looked at as an outsider, right?
We lose so much of ourselves in lies- again, not preaching, just thinking as I seem to do best these days :) Faith, hope, trust... in ourselves if no one else. But it seeps over, you know? Be honest- with yourself to start. Be honest with everyone- about who you are, what you stand for, believe in.... why lie? Be you, openly. Let everyone else be themselves without them fearing YOUR judgment. Be open- it could change a lot of things in your life. Be open to people and they will be open with you. Not everyone, of course, but there are some people not ready to change, and they have to grow at their own pace, not yours. Frustrating, yes. But not your life to live or your own situations to push.
The truth is, people lie. You, me, the guy down the street. Everyone. Not everyone lies to be vicious, not everyone lies to spare you. Shades of gray, like everything else. But, trust in yourself and be honest- why be less? Have faith that just because you don't know someone's intentions doesn't mean they're meant to be negative. Maybe it's the only way they can cope. If it isn't your story, you really don't have a clue. But maybe being a little less quick to jump to the “easy” button, and a little more patient and honest? The path might even out a little more......just a thought. :)