Five Minutes

This has become my most frequently uttered sentence “Can I just have five minutes of…” Here you can fill in the last part with “to myself”, “of peace and quiet”, or “without one of you screaming.” I knew this Mom deal was hard, but man it’s gotten harder. 3 is quite a big difference from 2, especially when the 2 were already school age and past the completely dependent stage of things. Our little newbie has been a challenge, like our oldest was. It must be a girl thing- that coming into the world already defiant, opinionated, and loud.

In part, I admit, is the already tense atmosphere. I’m not overly calm by nature; I’m the biggest worrier and Nervous Nelly there is. Add kids to that and you can imagine the added worries, from everything to sniffles to safety when they leave the house. Cause let’s face it- the world is pretty damn scary these days, and it’s gotten to be almost like playing roulette just sending them to school.

I should, before I go any further, explain some of the dynamics in the house. If not, most of what I say will sound even nuttier than it is… and by God, I can sound nutty. My six year old son has, until the arrival of the little one, pretty much run the schedule and the house due to his needs. He was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder at four, and is still not completely diagnosed. It’s been a constant trial and error with different therapies and meds, school schedules, home schedules, tests and the like. Life with him is very difficult, because you honestly never know what you are dealing with from moment to moment. To have a diagnosis, even partial, has helped immensely. But there’s still the unknown. (If the kid isn’t somewhere on the autism spectrum, I’ll eat my PC, seriously.)

Add to that an older daughter, as well as husband and now a new baby. All which need and deserve attention and affection. The baby demands the attention, naturally- she is 100% dependent on us for her every need. And who can resist smooching all over baby cheeks, feet or trying to squeeze those chubby little thighs? Especially for one of those first grins- oh man that kid can steal your every breath with that grin! My oldest vies for attention, and has (rightfully so) gotten pretty resentful. It’s hard being seven and expected to understand all of it. Hell, it’s hard being twenty nine and wrapping your head around it.

So, now it’s just that much harder to grab five minutes. For anything. To toss a load of laundry in. To grab a cup of coffee, and drink it while it’s hot (coffee is hot?!? REALLY? I don’t remember!) And God forbid I grab the phone and take off with it. Any mom can attest to that- the entire house can be quiet and settled. Then you grab the phone, a book, or something else to do and suddenly, you are the most popular person on the face of the Earth. To everyone. Including your husband. And any pet you may have. You are needed for something, or loved so much that you must cuddle, or talk, or help…. and then comes the “OH MY GOD CAN YOU JUST GIVE ME FIVE MINUTES!?!?”

I am now going to take advantage of my own five minutes, and simultaneously start laundry, grab something to drink and hide in the bathroom to “pee” -aka reading for three minutes periods of time, and sneaking some of the nicotine I need to get through the day. (And yes, smoking’s bad,I get it. I don’t do it around the kids, so no preaching is needed. Thank you, please come again.)

I’m going to try to figure out how to put some pics up here soon, and try to make this a daily, or at least every other day, thing. I think it’ll keep me somewhat sane. LOL

What keeps you sane?